


At Least Once

by ShaneShenanigans



Category: Mass Effect, Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Some Vetra/fRyder, Some mRyder/Reyes, Surprise Ending, features prescott arcturus ryder who is trans, he goes by Scott, obvious cool if you imagine or interpret default scott while reading though, slight mRyder/Kandros
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-08
Updated: 2017-04-25
Packaged: 2018-10-16 11:12:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 26,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10570128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShaneShenanigans/pseuds/ShaneShenanigans
Summary: They’d both done their fair share of running from each other. They’d had all the talks. Been over how the felt about each other, but logic-ed one another out of starting a relationship over and over again. But Scott wanted him, he wanted Scott… it was obvious and real for both of them, so why didn’t he just……he was scared. He didn’t want to fall in love again, didn’t want to believe it to be possible."Live your lives. Do great things, and remember to fall in love. At least once."





	1. Prologue - The Kids Aren't All Right

**Author's Note:**

> So... I don't know how much attention this is going to get because it's so niche-y? I think? A tag doesn't yet exist for Ryder/Avitus so here I am... pathfinding, I guess. Um.
> 
> Forewarning: I have this fic tagged as "surprise ending." I don't know for sure if I'm going that route but I also don't want to tag for it because I don't want to spoil it? It's nothing bad or sad, nothing that would fall under a warning or trigger. Just something you might not otherwise expect.
> 
> This is going to be fairly long. At least 6-7 chapters, probably about 50k works in all. Just barely a novel. Hopefully I'll be able to garner some interest in this little sort of guilty-pleasure ship that my mind went wild with just after my first playthrough.

The drink was in front of him, but he hadn’t touched it. His knuckles rested on against his temple as he ran his finger around the outer-rim. He was still deciding whether or not he’d fallen so far as to start drowning his problems in bad-tasting booze at noon.

Maybe another part of him was waiting for someone to come save him.

He thought about Reyes, about how he’d stopped calling and e-mailing and how Scott had stopped making an effort to contact him as well. How whatever passionate enthrallment they had toward each other seemed to disappear the moment he left Kadara, and then again after Meridian. Funny how that happens.

Scott didn’t want to rekindle it again this time. It was too exhausting.

It wasn’t just Reyes, or even mostly Reyes. Vetra and Sara were always alone together. His two best friends were in the honeymoon phase of their own relationship and that meant lots of time spent behind closed doors, lots of seeing one-another through tunnel vision and forgetting everyone else. 

He was happy for them, but he was also sitting in a bar, alone, staring at a drink he wasn’t even sure he liked.

“Pathfinder,” SAM’s voice rang in his head, and a wry smile crossed his lips. He always had SAM.

“Sam,” Scott acknowledged.

“I’m detecting abnormal levels of-“

“I’m sad, Sam. I know you know,” Scott interrupted. A few moments passed, then he sighed. “Thanks for saying something.”

“Of course,” Was all SAM managed to get out from there. He clearly didn’t know what else to say, and Scott, while he had mentioned personal problems to SAM before, didn’t feel like disclosing this time.

“That’s the problem with these things in our heads,” A voice came from beside him. “We always look like we’re talking to ourselves.”

Scott looked up, surprised to find Avitus Rix taking a seat beside him. He and the other three pathfinders, including Rix, had become fairly close acquaintances, some as far as friends. But Rix had always been a bit more stand-offish, kept his mind on business; usually the business of tracking down other turian stasis pods. Not the kind of guy that would casually sit next to you and start chatting.

But here he was.

“I talk to myself anyway,” Scott replied with a shrug as he raised his glass to his lips. 

Avitus hummed, “What’s that human saying? As long as you don’t answer yourself?”

“Sam usually answers before I’d get a chance.”

Avitus laughed now, and it sounded genuine. “I know exactly what you’re talking about. You say something off-handed like “where the hell is the bathroom in this place” and before you know it there’s a voice in your head telling you that the plumbing infrastructure indicates it’s down the hall, to the right.”

Scott nearly spit up his drink laughing.

“Would you prefer I listen more closely for rhetorical speech?” Scott’s SAM asked him.

“No, no, Sam. You stay exactly the way you are.”

“Acknowledged, pathfinder,” SAM replied. Scott had to smile.

“What did he say?” Avitus asked.

“I think he was a little offended,” Scott said, delicately.

“Yours gets offended?”

“He uses his most indifferent robotic voice when he is.”

Avitus laughed again, and Scott watched him this time, a tiny smile quirking at the edge of his lips. It was good to see him laugh. 

Scott worried about him since the loss of Natanus and Macen. It was clear that the two had been special to each other, and for a discernibly long time. Avitus wasn’t his responsibility, nor was it his place to step in. But it was nice to see that he was keeping on.

“So Avitus, how’ve you been?” He dropped the question.

“…Ah, you know,” There it was. He watched Avitus break a little and felt sorry for asking, but he pulled himself back together quickly. “Being a pathfinder is a lot of work. Keeps you busy.”

Scott snorted. “Yeah, too busy.”

“Not too busy for romantic endeavors with the most powerful man in Kadara I’ve heard,” Avitus said, maybe just trying to change the subject from his own welfare, but Scott was surprised at the implication, and looked at him depicting such emotion.

“I’ve been talking with Vetra,” Avitus clarified.

“Ugh,” Scott groaned, remembering when she’d tried to mother him about Reyes. He knew Reyes was a good man, whether they got their “lived happily ever after” or not. He did trust him in the end. The fact that Vetra was probably relieved that things didn’t work out was a little unsatisfactory to think about. He’d have to pout at her later.

“Anything there?” Avitus asked, casually. Scott wasn’t sure if he was actually interested in the answer or had just found a conversation to keep things comfortable, but he answered anyway.

“Nah,” was the best he could do. “It was fun, he was great, but we live in different worlds.”

“Right,” Avitus said. “You’re a pathfinder.”

Scott shrugged and nodded as he tipped the remainder of what was in his glass back. 

“So…” He started. “Not that I don’t enjoy the company, but did you really come over just to chat?”

“I came into the bar to drink,” Avitus said. “Wasn’t til I saw you that the chatting idea sprang to mind.”

“Do you come here to drink a lot?” The question came out before Scott had time to reconsider, and sounded just as concerned as he didn’t want it to.

“If you’re asking if I’m drowning my sorrows here everyday or something, no,” Avitus replied, tracing his finger along the edge of his glass. “I told you, I’m not really a feelings type of guy. Like I said, this job keeps me busy. This is a… bi-weekly occurrence at most.”

“I’m glad you’re doing well,” Scott said. He really was.

“Getting there,” Avitus confirmed. “What about you? You saved humanity, and the Initiative. You and your crew are heroes. But you don’t look ecstatic.”

Scott forced a smile, opened his mouth, then shut it again, a little lost for words. Things were easier when they had a cluster and a million lives to save. Now it was just small business, down time almost, and he had nothing to fill it with.

“Maybe I’m getting depressed,” Scott heaved a sigh. “Not enough sun.”

“…Meridian has plenty of sun.”

“Not enough sex, then,” Scott huffed. The guy could have just accepted the sun thing, but this is what he got for making it difficult.

Avitus merely snorted and found himself fixed on his drink. “You’re what, 25? That’s sad.”

“Hey!” Scott barked, “I’m barely a day over 24! And back when we were hopping around I had plenty of opportunities. Many of which I took.” Scott bounced his eyebrows, definitely hit slightly by the liquor.

“Oh?” Avitus seemed amused. “So what lucky sort of girl does the famous pathfinder like best?”

Scott burst out laughing at that, pounded twice on the bar even. “None that I’ve ever met.” He said between snorts.

Avitus chuckled. “A man after my own heart.”

“Gaaaaaaay,” Scott chortled, nudging Avitus’s upper arm with his elbow. Avitus seemed a little confused but Scott had found a smidgen of happiness in this encounter and he was running away with it whether Avitus liked it or not.

“How much have you had to drink?” Avitus asked, having become completely lost for words with the other man.

“Not that much,” Scott replied with a shrug as his glass was filled again. “I’m just happy. Haven’t talked casual to a friend in a while.”

“Wow,” Avitus blinked, “you really aren’t doing so great.”

“They’re just busy.” Scott waved him off and then proceeded to down half of the glass he’d just received. “Vetra and Sara, Cora and Vederia… Kallo and Suvi are always having little quiet chats that no one else is invited to. Half the time I’m sure they’re about me.” Scott had his eyes narrowed suspiciously. “Gil is… Gil. But anyway. Peebee, Liam, and Jaal are having some kind of love-triangle that I don’t want any part of.”

“Sounds complicated.”

“Nah, I’m just not a part of any of it,” Scott shrugged. “I could have been, in some cases, but it didn’t take,” he went on, “Liam told me he wasn’t into guys when we first met ‘cause I was into him. And then a month later he’s looking at Jaal like he wants to get plowed all the way back to the Milky Way.” Scott wasn’t sure he could stop ranting “Typical.”

“You should probably be quieter when you say things like that…” Avitus’s eyes flicked around the room. Liam frequented Vortex, but he was nowhere to be found at the moment. That was likely for the best.

“Sorry,” Scott cut himself off. “I’m fine, honestly. Apparently needed to blow off some steam. But fine. Besides, I should be complaining to you when…”

Avitus waved him off. “We’ve all lost someone,” he said, but his voice didn’t sound convincing, and neither did his quick subject change. “At any rate, I’ll stick around and drink with you today, sound good?”

Scott smiled warmly at him, and nodded in acceptance.

“It’s pretty obvious someone has to,” he added, under his breath and with a sarcastic snort. But Scott noted the warmth in Avitus’s voice tone turning into a warmth in his own chest.

It was nice to unwind.


	2. Bones

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This first chapter is suuuuuper plot-heavy but there are bits of Avitus and Ryder... noticing each other... scattered about and kind of a big one at the end. My brain gets held up trying to make my half-assed plotlines for these romance-focused fics somewhat believable. Please don't go yet! Chapters ahead are very romance development focused, especially Chapter 3.

Scott’s legs were carrying him with haste but his mind and eyelids were still in bed. It was 6:30 AM and already too bright on the docks for anyone pre-coffee to be walking around. But alas, there he was on his way to an emergency pathfinder meeting, still half-stuck in a dream about leaving his toothbrush in the Milky Way and therefore having to return for it.

“Ryder,” Raeka’s distinct high, fast-paced voice fell in beside him and he strained himself to turn and look at her, a lazy smile stretching in greeting. She looked like she’d been awake for hours.

“Any idea what this is all about?” Scott asked.

“Not likely more than you. Tann must get some kind of pleasure out of being vague in these e-mails.”

“It must be important,” Scott sighed heavily, trying to force himself to wake up a little more. “We haven’t had a quadruple pathfinder meeting in… well, not since Meridian,” he stretched his shoulders back and flexed his fingers.

Raeka didn’t say anything further, and Ryder looked to her in question as they walked, assuming she might be busy searching for information on her omni-tool, but found her just looking at him.

“What?” He asked, blinking.

“Nothing. It’s just… your hair doesn’t normally look like that.”

Scott took only a few more steps beside her before practically skidding to a halt beside her. What was wrong with his hair? How bad did his hair have to be for a Salarian to notice? They don’t know anything about hair!

“Ryder?” Raeka called back in question, and Ryder was almost too busy looking around for mirrors to hear her.

He heaved a sigh when he couldn’t find anything that offered a reflection, and started after her. The e-mail was marked urgent, he didn’t have time to worry about a supposed bad hair day.

When they got inside, Vederia was already waiting. She’d been going out of her way since the day she got appointed Pathfinder to be on top of everything, and she’d been doing well. Ryder earned his title in numerous ways, and Raeka had been pathfinder from the beginning but Ativus and Vederia were still out to prove themselves.

Well, at least Vederia was.

Ryder and Vederia shared a nod of greeting, during which her eyes flicked up to his head, and then she quickly looked away. Ryder frowned miserably, and raised his hand to his hair to try and feel around for flaws as he dragged himself to the console.

“Good, you’re all…” Tann cut himself off. “Where is Rix?”

“He’s on his way, I’m sure,” Raeka said. “If this is urgent, we can fill him in on the details.”

Tann’s expression shown clear how unimpressed he was. Scott was sure not even Vederia gave a shit about impressing Tann, but he was still a little concerned. Avitus had taken his job as pathfinder very seriously, especially for Macen’s sake. But he still seemed to be barely dragging himself through the day, sometimes.

“Yes,” Tann decided to agree. “Moving on to the problem at hand. The moshae has reported a base of former outcasts that didn’t take to realigning with the Nexus settling on Havarl. They’re reported as being located far from any Angaran civilization which is what took us so long to notice them. But they are armed, and do not appear friendly.”

Scott frowned at the intel before him as images saved by the scouts appeared on the board. The settlement was well-hidden, but one could tell it was extensive, and had been underway for quite some time.

“Havarl is hurting for resources more than any other planet. It’s still dangerous to hunt them down because while changing the planet’s climate slowed the flora problem, it only strengthened the ferocious wildlife,” Tann went on. “The Moshae is concerned that even if their intentions are non-hostile, which is unlikely, they will destroy the viability of Havarl.”

“They must know it’s the weak point,” Scott mused, brow furrowed. These assholes didn’t know when to quit.

“That’s why we’ve brought in the pathfinders,” Tann went on. “The Moshae believes this is a clear offensive on what you’ve done for the Initiative’s and the angaran's alliance.”

“If it is they’re going to be sorry,” Scott was wide awake now.

“Sorry I’m late,” A voice came from behind them. “My SAM’s still acting up, his alert about the e-mail was coming in blips.”

He walked up beside Ryder, looking prepared, and quite all right. “Too bad your father isn’t here to look at him. None of the other scientists have been able to come up with a decent answer to the implant’s problem.”

Halfway through the second sentence, Avitus’s eyes drifted up to the top of Scott’s head. Scott could have rolled his eyes as the state of his hair wasn’t really a huge priority—

“Like the new style, Ryder,” He said, and Ryder immediately became tongue-tied. He hadn’t sounded remotely sarcastic, the compliment was genuine, and Ryder was taken by surprise when it made his heart rate faster.

“I heard something about a threat to the alliance,” Avitus changed the subject immediately. Tann was visibly annoyed at the interruption, but the other pathfinders knew Avitus’s SAM was still imperfect since the initial failure to transfer. 

“Yes,” Tann said. “I want the human, turian, and salarian teams ready within the hour. Find out why they’re there, what they’re up to, and anything they might be hiding.” He said. “Pathfinder Vederia,” he addressed specifically. She stood up straight, alert. “One of the scouts was able to procure some documents from the outcasts, one of which was a map with a marked location that is not associated with any angaran stations. I want your team investigating that location.”

Ryder didn’t like the sounds of that. “With all due respect do you really think she should be going after that alone?”

“You are to assess their interest in the location and nothing further. Do not engage any hostile forces,” Tann clarified, and Vederia nodded, having already accepted. She turned to Ryder and smiled reassuringly. He knew she could handle a lot, but he still didn’t like it. They could have marked the location of an Architect for all anyone knew.

“If there are no further questions, I leave it to the four of you.” Tann concluded.

The pathfinders shared glances, and then nodded. The first step was getting their teams together and heading for Havarl. They could discuss the rest when they got there.

o-o-o

“Havarl?” Jaal cut in the moment the planet’s name came off Scott’s lips. “Why wasn’t I told?”

“I’m guessing since you’re apart of my team she left that up to me,” Ryder said. “And before you ask, yes, you’ll be on the ground with me.”

Jaal nodded in approval, having expected no less.

“Vetra, you too.”

“Affirmative, pathfinder,” Vetra said, shooting Sara a smirk, who rolled her eyes and shook her head. Scott’s eyes flicked between them as if wondering what that was about, but didn’t take time to ask. With that, he headed for the bridge to—

He stopped as he passed a mirror, and turned to look at his reflection.

His hair didn’t look… bad, really. But it did look messy and wild. Sticking up, unkempt in a way. He’d run a comb through it that morning but his eyes had still been partially sealed shut.

_Avitus had complimented him on it._

Shaking his head he mussed it further, and then pushed it around until it fell into a more organized place and looked more like it did on a daily basis.

o-o-o-o

Havarl looked significantly better than the last time they’d touched down— it had been little more than a month. The past few times they’d landed the vines and plant life that had been cut away from the landing zone had started growing back in, but this time they were cut back further than ever and it was almost entirely clear. The vegetation around the research station had been peeled back to looking more like a building in a forest and less like a ruin overrun by a fierce jungle.

“It’s beautiful here now.” Jaal commented. “Thank you, again, Ryder.” He said, and Ryder shrugged and waved him off.

“We all had a hand in this.” He said, but proudly. “Let’s just make sure it stays this safe.” With that, they started toward the appointed rendezvous.

“Who knows, maybe in a year or so they’ll have roads here.” Vetra said as they walked. “Won’t have to walk everywhere.”

“All of the known settled areas on Havarl are within walking distance of each other,” Jaal disagreed.

“Your idea of walking distance and my idea of walking distance must be pretty different,” Vetra argued.

“Your legs are long, strong, and your build is nimble. There’s no reason you should have any trouble—,”

“Hey,” Scott interrupted. “No flirting with my sister’s girlfriend.”

“I—!” Jaal gasped, appalled by the accusation. “I was not flirting!”

Scott snickered to himself and heard Vetra laugh quietly as well, and they continued on.

o-o-o

Avitus Rix was at the rendezvous when they arrived, a team of two turians following him up. 

“Ryder,” He greeted with a nod, and Scott nodded back.

“Any movement?” Scott asked.

“Nothing so far. Raeka’s team scouted ahead, toward the outcast settlement. We’re on comms with Vederia who’s halfway to her mark. So far, so good.”

“Good to hear,” Scott nodded. “So what’s the plan?”

“Raeka asked me to set up a small base here— I’ve got experience with doing that on Havarl, I was hoping your associate may be able to help,” His eyes moved to Jaal as if to ask.

“Of course,” Jaal said. “ This is a foreign area, but I have a pretty good idea which plants are going to attract rylkor and which ones you don’t want to sleep next to.”

“And the rest of us?” Scott asked, as Jaal crossed in front of him to join Rix’s team.

“She was hoping you would back her up. She’s aware that you’re pretty good back-up to have.”

“So I’ve heard,” Ryder shrugged.

“Tann’s orders are to get a better idea of the geography surrounding the area for now. We’ll make camp tonight and try our luck moving in with fresh daylight tomorrow.”

“Wow,” Ryder said. “I bet you’re not excited about having to spend another night here.”

“I feel better about it knowing the other pathfinders are here, and that we have a plan, not to mention our tickets off this damn planet,” Avitus said. “But if I wake up with another vine around my neck I’m taking a shotgun to every tree in sight.”

“Got it. No vines near Pathfinder Rix’s tent,” Jaal took note.

“Already, we’ll be back by nightfall,” Ryder said, gesturing Vetra to follow him.

“Take one of my people with you,” Avitus said. “Ryder, this is Idrya, she’s good with traps and sabotage if you get into anything sticky.”

“A pleasure,” The turian— Idrya, sounded a bit sarcastic when she said that. Vetra and Ryder shared a look.

“Likewise,” Vetra said, with equal sarcasm, and started to move, the third member of their team close behind.

o-o-o

Through communication the three of them were able to meet up with Raeka’s team in under an hour. They found her and two other salarians tucked cleverly into a grove of strange trees, well-hidden, but with the edge of the settlement in sight by scope.

“Ryder,” Raeka greeted, hardly looking at him before peering back through the scope of a sniper rifle.

“You’re not about to shoot someone, are you?” Vetra asked.

“No. But why pack binoculars when this works just as well,” Raeka replied.

“I wish Jaal were here to tell me if these trees were going to eat me,” Scott said, and then as if one of the trees heard him, a vine strung with wet, sticky leaves fell down and landed against the front of his helmet. He panicked and let out a surprised shout as he swatted it away frantically, nearly tripping over his own footing.

“This is the pathfinder that saved your ark?” Idrya commented to one of the salarians, who shrugged.

“With the help of the local angara, Hayjer has become an expert on Havarl’s flora. These trees are harmless,” Raeka said, without looking up. Hayjer gave Ryder a sharp nod of affirmation, who shifted his weight in embarrassment, but still stepped away from the hanging string of leaves.

“They’re still sneaky.” He defended himself, lamely.

“Well, while Ryder keeps an eye out for killer trees, the rest of us will watch out for the bad guys,” Vetra said. “What do you need us to do?”

“Hey. That’s my line,” Ryder quipped, hurrying up beside her and maybe a step in front.

“For now, keep quiet. Once I find an opening in their guard rotation to move safely, I’ll have you move around to the other side of the hill to get a second perspective.”

Things were pretty quiet while they waited for the okay-go. Scott took to scrubbing with the pads of his fingers at the slimy substance that tree had left behind on his visor. Vetra was observing Raeka, and Idrya was talking to one of the salarians only a foot or so away from where he sat.

“You keep a picture of your husband in a pocket you stitched into your armor?” The salarian asked. Scott’s couldn’t really help listening in.

“Yeah,” Idrya replied. “Everyone should keep something that reminds them of the reason they fight,” she tucked the photo back into the badly-sewn pocket, which made for somewhat of a weak spot in her armor.

“That’s very sentimental,” the salarian commented.

She snorted. “Wasn’t my idea, he insisted. Took a picture of himself with this big, dumb smile, tongue sticking out and everything. Then he made me take it with me everywhere so I’d always remember that while I’m out here risking my life to secure our home, he’s somewhere off being a jackass. And if I make it back, I’ll get to join him in his damn shenanigans.”

Scott hid a laugh under his breath.

“What does he do on the Nexus?”

“Filing, documents, he’s a pencil pusher and he plays video games on his omni-tool when no one’s looking.” She sighed heavily.

“You seem very fond of him…”

“Ryder,” Scott’s eavesdropping was interrupted by Raeka, and he immediately stood. “I’m giving you coordinates for an area that is approximately directly across from us, on the other side of the settlement.” She said, fiddling with her omni-tool.

“Got it.” Scott stood.

“Don’t give away our position if you can help it.” Idrya called out to him, not sounding like she was offering any sort of playful banter. He looked back at her, but had no words, and simply turned away awkwardly.

“I’ll do my best, I guess…” He mumbled to himself, and accepted the coordinates.

o-o-o

“This seems like a questionable job for a pathfinder team.” Scott said, sighing. “Don’t they have scouts for this?”

“You once followed a trail of breadcrumbs to a secret cave to save some ice whales, Ryder,” Vetra reminded.

“Hey, that was important,” Ryder said, disappointed in her. Then he kicked the ground. “I’m glad that other turian stayed with the salarians,” she seemed an all right soldier but she didn’t seem to like him. “She scares me.”

“So am I. She’s prejudice, doesn’t like humans much. Not sure Rix is aware of it but I doubt he would have chosen her to join us if he was.”

That explained it. “Shouldn’t he have that kind of intel on his people?”

“It’s not the sort of thing you can safely advertise, especially if you want them to let you on an ark. She probably keeps it under wraps. But I know people.”

Ryder pursed his lips. “Know anything about Avitus?” He asked, voice overly casual, shoulders swinging a bit as he looked around idly.

Vetra turned away from the scope and looked at him, like she was trying to read something.

“What?” Ryder asked, glad that his helmet was probably hiding the fact that his face felt hotter.

“Nothing that isn’t common knowledge,” Vetra said. “He’s fine with humans and everyone else as far as evidence is concerned. An upstanding soldier and citizen by all accounts if you ignore that part where he’s an ex-spectre that got endorsed by Saren. But we all left our checkered pasts behind— they wouldn’t have let us on the arks if we didn’t. Story seems to be that he had a lot of help from Macen Barro in getting them to ignore all that and be granted such a high-ranking position.”

Scott was looking for some slightly less official information, and most of it he already knew. But he wasn’t entirely sure why he was asking.

“He’s not dirty by our standards, Ryder.” Vetra said, looking over her shoulder. “If he was I’d have dirt on him.”

“Good to know.” Scott said. “See anything interesting?”

“Nope, just rotations.” Vetra said. “And quit kicking rocks around and start watching my back like you’re supposed to be.” She barked, and Scott sighed, but obeyed.

o-o-o

An hour or so before nightfall, Vetra and Scott returned to Raeka’s team on the opposite side of the settlement. As Vetra shared the intel she’d gathered on rotation and activity, Scott was asked to keep watch. If SAM had any comment on anything he saw or noticed, it would have been helpful.

Looking through scopes at a bunch of people moving from building to tent to building wasn’t exactly the most thrilling way to spend his time. He mostly just walked in and shot at anyone who shot at him when things were suspicious before. But now it was all about tactics and being careful, and things that were generally slow and required a patience he hadn’t trained in quite a while.

There was strange movement on the far end of the settlement, near once of the entrances— a small metal gate attached to some fencing.

Three soldiers were escorting what appeared to be asari prisoners, hands held behind their backs as they struggled, and—

“Oh no,” Scott said, drawing his eye away from the scope to look with his naked eye. “It’s Vederia,” he said, and all attention turned to him.

There was a short pause before Raeka rushed to the scope, and peered through just in time to see Vederia and her team, struggling and shouting as they were forced into one of the buildings.

“Why didn’t they contact us?” She asked, a little panicked herself.

“They must’ve been taken by surprise,” Hayjer said. “If they were going to kill her, they would have done it out in the field where they found them.”

“We’ll have to change our tactics here. We’re moving in tomorrow,” Raeka decided.

“Tomorrow?” Scott objected. “We have to go now!”

“It’s nearly dark, Ryder,” Raeka said. “There are only six of us. We need to head back to the camp Avitus Rix has pulled together, call for some sort of back up, and work out a plan to execute in daylight. Otherwise we’ll just be killed trying to save them.”

Ryder groaned, turning on his heal and punching a tree. “I told that son of a bitch not to send her out there alone…”

“Vederia’s a former soldier and a pathfinder, she knew the risks,” Hayjer argued. “She wouldn’t have gotten captured so easily. We should assume these agents have excellent stealth tactics.”

“Pack up the equipment as quickly as possible. We should get back and contact the others to pull them in,” Raeka ordered. “Ryder. Your assistance, if possible?”

Worried and irritated, Ryder nodded, and hurried to help the other salarians take down and pull their equipment together. The sooner they got back to camp, the sooner they could come up with a plan.

o-o-o

The first thing Scott did back at the camp and in range was contact the tempest and tell Liam and Peebee to get ready and join them on the ground. None of them had gotten close enough to scan anything, and SAM couldn’t make useful sense of the data Raeka’s equipment picked up. All signs pointed to the fact that they’d likely have to go in blind and hope for the best.

Once their teams were contacted and positions and tactics were sorted, there wasn’t much left to do but wait. It was long past dark by the time they’d sorted out a plan, and Scott found himself sitting by the fire, running it over in his head as if making sure there wasn’t some way to make it more solid. But he didn’t have nearly enough information to come up with anything, and it was starting to piss him off.

“Who knows what they could be doing to them right now,” He said, frustrated, throwing a small stick into the fire.

“It’s like Hayjer said: If they were going to kill them, they would have done it already,” Vetra attempted some small comfort. “What we’re doing tomorrow could be the equivalent of declaring war on these guys if they’re not friendly and we’re not careful. We can’t rush that. It puts the angara at risk.”

“I know that,” But he’d removed Sassaria from the position of pathfinder, leaving Vederia in her place. He was the reason she ended up risking her life this way. He couldn’t help worrying about her.

“You should get some sleep if you can,” Vetra said, standing. “You’ll be more use tomorrow if you do.” With that, she headed for her tent, leaving just himself and Avitus Rix by the fire.

“What about you?” Scott addressed. “Think you’ll be able to sleep tonight?”

Avitus heaved a sigh. “Never been able to sleep great in this place. It might be different this time but my nerves are still just as unsettled at the memory.”

“I think I’ll have a hard time too,” Ryder said. As of now he just wanted to get up, run back to that settlement, shoot everyone there, and pull Vederia and her people out. No way he could think about sleeping on top of that. “Someone should keep watch anyway. Who knows what could wander in.” He said, shrugging. He was fairly used to staying on task without getting a whole lot of sleep. He had to during the early days of Andromeda arrival, and for a fairly long time after that.

“At least this way we have company,” Avitus offered, and the corner of Scott’s mouth crooked into a forced smile, and he nodded.

“Before we left Vederia mentioned how glad she was to have been given the opportunity to be pathfinder, and that she owed that opportunity to you,” Avitus said, a little off-handedly. “She’s proud to be here. So am I.”

Scott looked up to him, met his eyes.

“You saved both our asses, Ryder. We’re not going to forget it, and there’s no way she’s down there thinking she’s alone,” He said. “She knows we’re coming.”

Scott smiled more genuinely this time as his eyes fell back to the ground in front of him, but he didn’t know what to say. None of the circumstances under which he met the other pathfinders were anywhere near ideal. Sometimes, looking at Avitus just made him wish he’d acted sooner, that he could have saved Macen for him. As readily and responsibly as Avitus accepted his role as pathfinder, he knew he’d give it up a thousand times over to have him back.

Avitus hadn’t come to Andromeda for an adventure like Scott had. He’d come for Macen— with Macen, and now that was gone and here he was, right back where he started.

The kind words were reassuring, but Scott feared he was faced with too much evidence that he wasn’t nearly good enough at any of this.

A moment later, both Scott and Avitus shot up from where they were sitting at the distinct sound of movement in the forest nearby. They shared a look, but remained silent.

Scott had seen and killed all manner of the creatures that lived on Havarl, and he didn’t expect anyone with a higher intelligence level than a Rylkor to make that much noise moving in on their camp. It wasn’t a person.

He stepped toward the forest, gun drawn. It was bizarre that an animal might come close with the fire burning, but Havarl’s wildlife had always been bolder than most other places he’d been. He hovered at the edge of the woods for a bit longer, listening closely.

“Ryder,” Avitus said. “That sound was loud.”

“Yeah…” Scott said, turning half-way toward him. Avitus was right behind him with his pistol drawn as well.

“It sounded like it was right there.” He pointed to a place out in the open, implying they should have been able to see what ever it was. Scott turned around to him fully, processing what he was saying.

“It’s probably cloa—,” Before Avitus could finish his line of thought, Scott was shoved forward and shouted out in surprise as he fell on him. All Scott felt was the distinct sting of two claws against his shoulders as he was mauled over, half-expecting teeth in his neck. But as he hit the ground on top of Avitus who’d caught him, he quickly found that he was unharmed, aside from the likely shallow scratches the claws would leave.

He opened his eyes and blinked, turning his head back half-way to find Avitus’s hand, holding a knife that was lodged into the side of a decloaking challyrian’s head.

“Wow,” Scott said between heavy breaths. “You’re good,” he looked back down at Avitus, only to find that their faces were only inches apart.

“Ex-spectre.” Avitus rationalized, forcing a smile. Scott shook a bit, eyes probably roaming over Avitus’s exceptionally close face a little more than they should have. Avitus’s mandibles twitched and Scott’s eyes shot up to his. He wondered what that meant.

“Are you okay?" Avitus asked. Scott paused for a few moments, and then nodded.

Avitus shoved the dead challyrian off of Scott’s back, and Scott immediately moved off of him, pushing his hair back and trying not to sweat any harder than he already was.

Everything about what Avitus just did was… hot.

“What’s going on out here?” Raeka’s voice interrupted his thoughts, and he looked up to her. She’d just come out of her tent, looking alert for someone who’d likely been asleep. She looked between the two of them, then at the dead creature.

“Just a challyrian,” Avitus said as he pushed himself back up to his feet. “They usually run in packs of at least two, so I’m going to scan the area.”

“I’ll go along with you,” Scott volunteered. Avitus’s mandibles twitched again and Scott’s eyes zeroed in on them. Vetra’s did that sometimes but he’d never bothered to figure out what sort of body language it was akin to.

“One of us should stay here and make sure they don’t ransack our supplies,” Avitus disagreed, and Scott deflated a bit.

“You sure?” He asked, and Avitus nodded. “I was trapped here for weeks. I can handle a couple of challyrians.”

“Right.” Scott nodded.

“You gonna get off the ground?”

“Someday,” Scott muttered, mostly to himself, just sitting on his knees on the ground. Avitus rolled his eyes, holstered his weapon, and held a hand out to Scott.

“Thanks,” Scott accepted it, and pulled himself to his feet.

“Pathfinder,” Avitus bowed slightly, and then turned to enter the forest. Scott watched after him until he was out of sight, then rubbed the back of his neck, and forced himself to turn around and return to the fire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to fill this fic with as many cliches and tropes as I can thank you very much. Thanks for reading! Hope you continue to enjoy!


	3. Death Valley

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More plot. I'm sorry. It's fluffy as hell after this I swear.
> 
> I'm hoping to update about twice a week, with this being the second update for this week. So there should be more by Sunday of next week unless I give into the urge to throw something up sooner. Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Scott ended up sleeping for a few hours. Jaal woke up and offered to take over keeping an eye on the camp. Avitus seemed keen on staying awake but SAM informed Scott that his cognitive functions were dampened and that sleep would greatly improved them, so he listened. When he woke up at the first sign of daylight and remembered what they had to do, he wasn’t tired.

The plan was typical of a pathfinder. They were going to send a small team in through the front, armed, but weapons holstered. Raeka speculated that it was a last-ditch attempt to discern for sure if these intruders were friendly and just trying to survive, but Ryder doubted it. Best case scenario they could work out a deal and leave with Vederia and her team. If their people attempted to disarm and capture the first team, they had two other teams stationed nearby that would move in with full force.

Ryder, Vetra, and Jaal volunteered to be the first team. Liam insisted on coming along but any more than three and they may have been viewed as too large a threat to make deals with. Instead he and Peebee joined with Rix’s team, while Raeka’s smaller group took their own route to move quickly into a position that was ideal for sniping

Ryder was at the front, as usual, as they moved in toward the camp. The three of them made no attempt to stay hidden, and a guard spotted them immediately, and pointed a heavy assault rifle at them. These guys didn’t travel light.

“Stop moving! Who are you!” He shouted, and the guard on the opposite side of the gate spoke something unintelligible from their distance into his comm.

“We’re friends of the three asari that were brought here yesterday.” Ryder said. “We’d like them back.

The man didn’t lower his weapon. “A human, turian, and angaran here to rescue the asari pathfinder?” He sounded incredulous.

“I’m the human pathfinder, so yes, she’s one of us.” He said. “All we want is to get her back. We were scouting this area for new places to settle, she happened upon you by chance. We don’t mean any harm.”

“You’re all Nexus.” The guard spat. “We know what you’re really here for, thanks to your little scout that swiped our maps. We found them on her.”

“This isn’t going well.” Jaal shared.

“I can see that.” Ryder ground out through clenched teeth.

A group of three more were approaching the gates, and the lead was a black-clad, heavily armored person wearing a gas mask.

“You three.” The voice was distorted by the mask, and the whole get-up was incredibly creepy. “Put your weapons on the ground.” They ordered.

“Us being completely unarmed and you pointing guns in our faces makes things a little uneven. Just tell us what you want.”

“Put them on the ground or I’ll have both of your friends shot, and your asari friend’s throats cut.”

“Ouch.” Vetra said under her breath. “Plan B?” She offered.

“Plan B.” Scott confirmed, nodding, and as they drew their weapons, all four of the guards surrounding the gas mask were gunned down. Vetra shot the rifle out of the gask mask’s hand, who quickly managed to grab hold of their still-standing soldiers and use her as a shield for the oncoming fire before diving to take cover behind one of the settlement’s outer walls.

“Move in!” Ryder ordered over the comm, and the three of them as well as Liam, Peebee, and Idrya from the edge of the forest nearby, obliged.

Ryder stopped halfway to the gate and aimed his rifle behind the wall where the gas mask had taken cover. They were no longer there. He looked up and scanned the area visually, but he didn’t see anyone around aside from the soldiers inside the gate that were meeting his team in a firefight.

Scott hurried in after them. Offensive shots from the settlement’s guard were scattered, and it was clear they were taken by surprise. But he was sure they wouldn't be off guard for long.

“There.” He said, pointing. “That’s where I saw them taking her.” It was one of the more fortified and well-built looking structures in the settlement, and likely the most secure place to hold a prisoner. He hoped that would mean they’d be in luck and hadn’t moved her.

Vetra and Jaal hurried and took point on either side of the door. Liam and Idrya stayed at the foot of the stairs leading up, shooting off their guns at anything that moved.

Scott and SAM opened the doors and Vetra and Jaal moved in, taking out two armed guards swiftly, just barely being missed with machine gun fire before subduing them. Inside was a desk and a mess of papers. Scott considered their worth as he walked by, but in front of him was yet another door.

He ignored the desk for now, and had SAM override the lock on it and—

"Ryder!" It was almost too good to be true. There they were— Vederia and both members of her team, looking shaken but uninjured. 

"I told you it was them." One of the asari barked at the other, who looked especially worried, and not impressed by the prediction. Vederia passed Scott immediately and made her way to the desk. She started gathering the scattered documents up as if she had some idea of what to grab.

"I overheard some of those guarding us discussing their plans, SAM held onto all the details. I'll tell you once we're out of here." Vederia said as she pocketed the papers. Scott gave a swift nod, before raising a hand to his comm. 

"Vederia's safe, we're on our way out." 

"Hurry, Ryder!" Avitus's voice came through. "They've got back-up, and a lot of it!" 

"We have to move, now!" Scott ordered, and with shared acknowledgement, the asari fell in line to follow him out. He came out the front and found Liam and Peebee at the top of the stairs, struggling behind the railing to keep the enemies from closing in. Scott spotted two of them immediately and picked one off with a shot of his pistol just as he rose from cover.

“Let’s get out of here.” Scott said, and the rest of the team poured out of the doorway, guns and biotics blazing to clear the area.

"Move!" Scott shouted, hanging back by the door to make sure they all got out. After Vederia followed the last of her people out, he took up the rear. Just as his feet hit the ground from the staircase, he heard the sound of a shuttle’s engine.

"Shit..." he looked up to see it closing in on their location. "We got company! Move!" 

"Head for the forest," Avitus's voice came through his comm. "I'll send you the coordinates, there's a thick cover and they don't know we're here. If they follow you in we'll gun them down before they figure out what hit them." 

"What about Raeka's team?" Scott asked. 

"They sniped out those first four soldiers and Hayjer got hit by a return fire so they had to fall back but it's just his arm and he’ll be fine. They're here, and safe. We're waiting on you." 

"Got it." Ryder said, turning half-way and shooting down a rifle-toting soldier he'd caught in his peripheral. When he turned back, he got an eyefull of a manned machine gun aboard the shuttle. The man’s posture and expression made it clear that he was seconds away from slamming the trigger.

"Get down!" He shouted to those around him and dove behind a staircase, covering his head with both arms as a stream of rapid fire tore up the wooden railings just above him. 

When he looked up, he glimpsed Vederia and four others making it into the trees. He knew two had been still right next to him when that reign of fire came down. He looked around frantically for them.

"It's circling around!" Liam's voice was a hell of a comfort. 

"Liam!" Scott shouted. "You okay?" 

"Fit as a fiddle. We’ll have to make a run for it." 

Scott heard a rat-a-tat of gunfire behind him, but it wasn't aimed at him. He looked back to find Idrya on the ground a few meters back, gunning down an oncoming enemy. There was blood on her clothes.

"Shit!" Ryder cursed. The conversation he’d overheard her having about her husband flashed through his mind.

"Ryder!" Liam shouted. "We weren't prepared for an aerial attack! If you go back there that thing will tear you apart!" 

Ground soldiers were closing in on her, and there was no way they'd take her alive after this. 

"Ryder! Do you read! We have to retreat, get out of there! We have snipers covering Idrya’s position, we won’t let them get to her! I repeat, get out of there now!" Ryder heard Avitus's voice over the comm, but he only had a short window to act. If Idrya made it to cover from that machine gun on the shuttle, she’d be in a place where anyone closing in on her would be impossible to hit with a sniper rifle. She wouldn’t make it.

Taking a deep breath, he took one last look at the shuttle as it was moments from finishing its circle-around, and launched himself onto his feet, running back toward her. Liam's frantic shouting in protest and Avitus's outraged demand for him to stop over the comm came simultaneously. He ignored both of them. 

Shooting out both of the soldiers he'd spotted coming up on her, he took his chances that they were the only two in range, and skidded to a stop mid-run next to her. In the same movement, he lifted her up by her underarms.

"Come on! Move!" He forced her up despite screams of pain and protest, and pulling one of her arms over his shoulders, rushed her behind cover. He started to hear the roar of the machine gun fire seconds before they made it to safety and in that moment he was sure they were dead. 

But he opened his eyes to find that he was alive and unscathed. The sound of the machine gun’s automatic trigger could still be heard as well as it tearing up the ground, but it wasn't aimed at them.

"That's right, try and hit me you bastards!" He heard Liam shouting and looked over just in time to see him dive back down behind one of their forts, just barely being missed by a stream of bullets ripping up the dirt behind him.

"Liam you son of a bitch, I love you!" Scott grinned from ear to ear as he slumped against the wall behind him.

"I know it! You better not die!" Liam shouted back. Scott took another look at Liam's position. He would have made it in one last run for it, but Scott could see at least four soldiers moving in on him. If he was going to make it, he had to go now. 

"We'll be fine, I can see a way out but they're almost on you. I can cover you but you have to go before that thing circles again." 

"On it!" Liam agreed. 

"On my signal… move! Now!" Scott ordered just as he sprung out of hiding

Liam took off full speed toward the woods the moment he was told to, and Scott shot down two of the soldiers swiftly, the other two turning their attention to him, away from Liam. Scott shot at them but couldn't get in anything promising, and missed, ducking back behind cover just after spotting four more closing in on their position. 

He watched Liam make it into the woods unscathed. A few soldiers followed him in, and the distant sound of rapid gunfire from inside followed by a lack of their fellow soldiers returning made the others giving chase come to a full stop. At least that problem was solved. 

"So what's your miracle way out?" Idrya asked, voice laced with disbelief. 

"Don't got one." With that machine gun shuttle flying around and all of the gunmen moving in on them, they wouldn't last another minute. He hears the sound of sniper rifles firing from the trees, but they were in a bad spot. They were essentially between two buildings so the enemy soldiers had easy cover from that kind of attack here. 

“So you just killed yourself for nothing?” Idrya scoffed, coughing between words. “Pathetic.” Scott noticed blood dripping down the side of her mouth, greatly contrasting her grey-colored face. She was hurt bad.

He looked down and noticed that the small pocket sewn into the fabric of her armor was stained with blood.

"Ryder!" Avitus's voice came over the comm. "What the hell are you doing? I told you to get out!" 

"Sorry Av." Scott's breath was heavy through the comm. "Thought I could make it." 

"I can't send anyone out there! That shuttle is watching the treeline! You have to get out on your own!”

“Leave me.” Idrya said. “Make a run for it.”

“If I leave you here this whole mess would have been for nothing.” Scott said, lowering himself to carefully peak around the corner and find the full magnitude of their situation. There were at least a dozen moving in now.

“Besides, I can’t. They’re here." He observed, breath still heaving as he shared a glance with Idrya, who speechlessly seemed to understand.

He picked up her assault rifle, and placed in her hands. “We’ll take as many of them with as we can.” He forced a smile, in the back of his mind still hoping by some miracle that the two of them could pull this off. Maybe that was better than accepting death.

"Ryder!" Avitus hadn’t let up over the comm.

“Pathfinder, the odds are nearing impossible, and I can detect no discernible way for the two of you to leave the area safely. Surrender is your best chance." 

That was exactly what Scott didn't want to hear, but facts were facts, and-- 

The distinct sound of an explosion cut his thoughts short, followed by what sounded like heavy gunfire not far away. He looked up to watch the shuttle fall from the sky, crashing near the trees, up in flames so hot he could feel them from the hundred or so meter distance.

"They have air support! Get inside! Everyone inside!" He heard an enemy soldier shouting, alongside the sound of heavy fire hitting the dirt only a few feet away. 

Carefully, he looked around the corner. The coast was clear for now, but he doubted it would be for long. 

The offending airship was a small fighter. The kind that packed a heavy hit but could be taken down by a few hits from a sniper. He didn't know where it came from but it couldn't hang around forever. 

"We have to move, now." Scott told Idrya, and she nodded with compliance, helping him help her to her feet. Getting a closer look, it appeared she'd taken a bullet just below where that pocket was sewn. It appeared likely that it missed the picture, and probably her heart as well.

Scott didn't bother laying down any fire and holstered his gun, putting all of his strength into helping her along. He hoped he could trust cover to his friend in the sky. 

It felt like the longest hundred meter dash of his life. He kept waiting to be gunned down from behind, with every step he was surprised they were still moving.

Half-way there Idrya propped her rifle on her shoulder, pulled back on the trigger hard and screamed out in agony, not slowing her pace as she emptied the clip at everything they feared could have been behind them.

As if on cue, the moment her ammo depleted, they’d reached the edge of the woods, and crossed the threshold that offered safety. Scott was heaving with a mixture of exhaustion and disbelief, Idrya hanging on him like she wasn’t sure if she was still alive or not.

Raeka and a appeared from deeper in the woods, Raeka giving Scott a short nod of perhaps understanding as they took Idrya off his hands. Scott just wanted to fall to his knees, but this wasn’t absolute safety. He had to stay upright for now.

"You asshole!" Liam was the next to meet them, marching into sight from the thicket with fire in his eyes and his hands balled into fists. "You told me you had a way out! You lied!" He shouted straight into Scott’s face, words coming with as much spit as uncontrolled anger. Scott was too worn to look him in the eye.

"Ryder!" Liam barked again. “Are you listen—,” Cutting him off, Scott closed the space between them and threw his arms around Liam, hugging him tight. 

"You saved my life." He breathed in deeply, smiling from ear to ear.

Liam froze up for a moment, then slowly placed his hands on Scott’s back. "Yeah... well, I still hate you." He ground out, wrapped his arms further around Scott’s back and held him desperately close. “Fucker."

Scott couldn’t help laughing into the hug as Liam held onto him like he was afraid he’d lose him if he let go. Two minutes ago he didn’t know if he’d even see him again.

"Good to see you're doing well, Scott.” A voice through his comm interrupted. “Still trying to get yourself killed every other day. Business as usual.” It was familiar to both of them, and Scott stepped back from Liam, raising his hand to hail back, almost in disbelief. "Reyes?" He could hardly believe it. How did Reyes know they were there, and how the hell did he get there? With a fucking fighter jet no less? 

"I'll explain over drinks back on Kadara." Scott heard the airship zip by overhead. "For now my man has to get himself out of there before the angara notice him buzzing around." 

So it wasn't Reyes in the jet, but he had to be on Havarl to have accessed their comm system.

"Maybe that guy's kind of all right." Liam commented as he approached Ryder, still with tight-clenched fists. "Sometimes. Like right now. You're the asshole right now." 

"Liam--" 

Liam interrupted him.”It's good that you saved her. But don't ever send me away from you like that again!" His voice broke, "I could have helped and you sent me off so you could die on your own?” He shoved Ryder again, still clearly not over it despite their touching moment. “Do you have any idea how I would have felt?”

“I’m sorry, Liam.” Scott was. He knew it was reckless, but he couldn’t regret this outcome.

"Jaal had to hold him back when he realized you weren't coming." Peebee said. "I knew you'd find a way." She grinned, and Scott returned it immediately. 

"She's lying through her teeth. They were holding her back, too." Liam revealed, after which both Ryder and Peebee’s grins turned to frowns.

"Ryder!" Based on the unfriendly voice tone, Avitus was apparently next on the list of people who needed to scold him. He emerged from deeper in the woods and took some aggressive steps forward before stopping. 

"You scared the shit out of us back here." He accused. "If it weren't for Vidal you'd be dead. You realize that?” It was more of statement than a question. 

"If it weren't for me, she'd be dead." Ryder gestured to Idrya, who was receiving first aid from Hayjer.

"My people know the risks of this line of work, and it's not your job as a pathfinder to sacrifice yourself to save one of them!” 

"I've risked my life to save a lot of people that might not be standing here if I hadn't." Ryder countered, aggressively. 

Avitus opened his mouth again but didn’t have words, and then shut it.

"I appreciate the concern, but I don't answer to you, pathfinder.“ Scott finished, and turned away from him.

"Perhaps consider the feelings of those who care about you before running off to die, pathfinder." Avitus mocked, and Scott tensed, he hadn't been expecting that kind of retort. 

"All of that aside, we made it out alive." Raeka interrupted, stepping between them. "We should get moving before they organize an ambush on this position. We can be long gone before they regroup." 

"Agreed." Scott said, and trudged past the bulk of them, bumping Avitus’s shoulder more aggressively than he meant to as he stormed by.

o-o-o-o

Scott was, for all intents and purposes, uninjured despite what he’d been through. Idrya was the only one who’d been at risk, and aside from Hayjer’s bullet to the soldier, the others all got out with scrapes and bruises.

Liam’s demeanor was more or less back to normal now, and Scott was glad for it. He didn’t like being made to feel guilty and questioning his actions when he’d saved a life. Maybe it was the wrong call, but he and Idrya were both standing. It wouldn’t have been so if he’d left her there.

They’d returned as a group to the angaran research station near the tempest, where they were welcomed, despite having antagonized Havarl’s visitors. Jaal explained the situation and what had happened, and assured that the initiative would have eyes on them in no time, and that they wouldn’t have a chance to stage an attack.

They didn’t seem overly alarmed, which was as much as any of them could ask for. The initiative had really screwed this up, but at least they knew those guys definitely weren’t friendly. And there was also Vederia, who knew even more than that.

Scott only got a vague idea of what she actually caught wind of, and it had to do with turning Havarl into the next Kadara. Before he could ask her one-on-one she’d been gotten a call from Tann to return to the Nexus immediately and report what she knew. The rest of them were left to report in with more leisure.

“Scott.” Scott was surprised to hear Avitus’s voice from the doorway of one of the angara’s quarters that had been offered to Scott to clean himself up. Even more surprising, he was pretty sure that was the first time Avitus called him by his first name.

He turned to Avitus to find him leaning casually against the frame.

“I wanted to thank you— for saving Idrya. It… means a lot that I don’t have to tell her husband we lost her. He’s a friend.”

Scott blinked. He hadn’t expected this from Avitus— not that he’d been preparing for a never-ending rivalry over it, but a formal thanks?

“I was being cocky.” Scott forced a sheepish smile, meeting him half-way. “I should be dead.”

“You did it for the right reasons.” Avitus said. “And it seems like you have a guardian angel, so maybe your confidence is a bit more well-estimated than any of us thought.”

“I do have a history of making it out of impossible situations alive.”

“And bringing others out of it with you, I’ve heard.” Avitus agreed. “Anyway. I’d prefer the two of us not to be in a bad spot, if it’s all the same to you.” He said, a touch of uncertainty in his voice tone.

“I don’t know.” Scott smirked, and shrugged. “Sometimes a little badness between two people can be nice. Gets the blood pumping.”

“Ah…” Avitus looked away immediately, like he was embarrassed or maybe just uncertain of the situation and it hit Scott like a brick to the face that he was flirting with a man who’d only just lost the equivalent of his husband.

“Anyway.” Scott cleared his throat. “I’ll see you back at Nexus, pathfinder.” Which that, he rushed past Avitus, this time going out of his way not to allow any part of himself to brush against him, and hurried out of the research station toward the tempest, feeling like a fool.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone for the kudos and the comments! I got quite a bit more than I expected and I'm honestly ecstatic! It's all appreciated, and I hope you continue to enjoy!


	4. Dark Blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sooo this chapter is... important to me, but also it was hard. Anyway it starts their relationship development on kind of a weird path, which you'll come to see in upcoming chapters. Chapter 4 should be the last major plot chapter for a while... after that I have a messy load of fluff and pining and angst and... shit like that.

Flirting with guys was a bit second nature for Scott Ryder, and he’d while been rejected in unfriendly ways plenty of times, this was the first time it occurred to him that it might be something he should work on.

He was positive he was over-thinking it. It wasn’t like he said anything especially suggestive or invasive to Avitus, but it still felt like he stepped somewhere he wasn’t supposed to step.

There were certainly more pressing matters at hand but the man in question was standing right next to him. It was hard not to think about, barely a day later and the last time he saw him he'd made a fool of himself. 

Avitus seemed to be behaving normally in comparison, listening diligently to Tann's spiel. Scott didn’t catch a word of what Tann was saying, but Raeka filled him in later that evening.

The Havarl mission hadn't been a total bust. According to scouts, their attack had dealt a decent blow given it was such a small organization, and the settlement seemed to be having trouble pulling itself back together. 

That meant safety for the angara for at least a short time, and gave the Moshae time to consider what the initiative's next move should be based on Vederia's information. According to Tann, she was still working out the details of what she found and heard.

Tann ended their debriefing with an order to remain on or close to the Nexus until further action could be decided, and them two of them were dismissed. 

They left Tann's office side-by-side, and Scott felt a loss for words and more eagerness to go their separate ways. But he was glad when Avitus spoke up. 

"I'm glad the Moshae is in charge now. I'm not sure what Tann would do in this situation if he got the idea it was his decision."

Scott laughed a little awkwardly, but small talk came off as a relief. "Yeah, I don't really remember Tann being behind most decisions to begin with. It was always more of an easier to ask for forgiveness than permission kind of thing."

"If we have to take orders, at least now we have an experienced leader to take orders from." Avitus agreed, with a sigh. Scott had forgotten that Avitus in particular hadn’t always been used to taking orders— spectres didn’t do a whole lot of that. Scott was pretty sure they took something more like recommendations.

"Since we're stuck here, do you want to get a drink?" Avitus asked, voice sounding a little less confident than usual, almost as if he was worried Scott might say no.

"Uh." Scott needed a minute to process that. "Yeah, sure." He said, keeping back the eagerness as best he could. He liked the idea of further smoothing things out between them, and the last time they had drinks together had been relaxing.

Avitus smiled subtly, gave a short not, his mandibles moving out and in before he turned toward the direction of Vortex. Scott quickened his pace to follow after him. They walked in silence for a few dozen steps. At one moment Scott was sure he felt Avitus looking at him, but when he looked up, he found that Avitus was looking straight ahead. 

_Must’ve been mistaken._

“Hey kid.” he spotted Drack just before the greeting was spoken, and raised a hand to wave.

“Hey Drack!” He said. Drack was also headed for the tram, coming from the opposite side of operations. Scott assumed he’d been talking with Kesh, which was typical of their Nexus visits.

“How were things with tall, blue, and squishy?” Drack asked as he approached the two of them.

“Typical.” Scott said. “What are you up to?”

Drack looked around. “Nothing anymore. Heading back to the ship I guess. Kesh had paperwork to do, said I was distracting her from her work.” He scoffed, almost pouting if krogan knew how.

“Oh. We’re on our way to Vortex. Wanna have a drink with us?” Ryder offered. He didn’t notice when Avitus turned to him with a look of slight surprise, but Drack did.

Drack eyed the turian curiously, whose name he couldn’t quite remember, then turned back to Scott. “You buying?”

“I guess I am now.”

“Count me in!”

o-o-o-o

Scott immediately felt bad about inviting Drack along with them. Avitus remained fairly quiet, just sipping away while Drack told stories about Tann and Kesh and Nexus bullshit and Ryder commented here and there.

Scott continuously tried to turn the subject to him and ask him questions, but Avitus gave short answers each time that didn’t last. He seemed like he was trying to enjoy himself, but anxious and awkward at the same time.

Finally, Avitus excused himself to the bathroom.

“Finally.” Drack heaved a sigh. “I thought he’d never leave.”

“What?” Scott was a little offended on Avitus’s behalf.

“Who’s idea was it between the two of you to go for drinks?” Drack asked.

“…Avitus asked.” Scott was confused.

Drack laughed, a little louder than Scott imagined was necessary.

“You never were sharp, kid. I’m a krogan and even I could tell. We’re not exactly known for our intuition.”

“Tell what?” Scott was becoming increasingly annoyed at his crypticism.

“Nothing, you’ll figure it out.” Drack stood. “I’ve had enough. Now that I’m kind of drunk maybe I can bother Kesh without inhibitions.”

“Drack—,”

“See-ya back on the ship!” Drack waved backwards as he walked out, leaving Scott confused in his seat, until Avitus reappeared just a few moments later.

He stood next to the table, looking at the empty seats. “Did he leave?” He asked.

“Yeah…” Scott said, thinking over what Drack had said, trying to piece together the enigma.

Avitus sighed as he sat down, sounding sort of relieved, and sort of still nervous at the same time. Scott watched him look down at his drink and idly turn the cup while staring into the liquid.

Scott’s eyes widened with realization. “Oh…” His jaw dropped open with the word. “Were… you asking me on a date?” He said, lowly, a little bit afraid to be wrong.

Avitus’s face cracked in a smile and he laughed gently. Awkwardly. “Maybe.” He was still looking at his cup. “Yeah.”

“Oh. Shit.” It had completely gone over Scott’s head.

“It’s fine if you’re not interested. Probably better. I guess I was trying to come out of my shell a bit but, I don’t think I’m really ready.” Avitus said, and then brought his glass to his mouth, tipped it back and took long gulp, swallowing it quickly.

Scott watched him, unsure of what to say. “Not interested” wasn’t the phrase he’d used to describe himself. But it was hard to assert his interest when in the same sentence Avitus admitted he wasn’t ready for this.

He didn’t know what to say. Part of him wanted to push the idea of being, in fact, extremely interested, and the other part was scared to put pressure on his boundaries.

“This can be a date.” Scott said, finally, picking up his drink in a light attempt to make Avitus feel less awkward, and raised it toward him. “Doesn’t have to go further than that, but it’s always good to practice.” Scott felt incredibly stupid after he said it, especially when Avitus forced a rather painful smile.

This wasn’t going well.

“It was… a bad idea.” Avitus said, and something about the words physically pained Scott, but he swallowed it and shook it off. “I’m older than you and… there’s the whole thing where you like to go off and try to get yourself killed.” Avitus tried to joke.

Scott laughed, genuinely, and the mood immediately felt lighter. For a moment he was just happy that Avitus had managed to made a joke about that sort of implication.

“I can’t see that ending well.” Avitus’s humorous smile was also more genuine now, and Scott shrugged, still smiling. In the back of his mind he was just kicking himself over the fact that it was about five sentences too late to assert that he definitely wasn’t “not interested.” It made his heart fall into his gut, and that was a not unnerving, but unexpected surprise.

Time moved slowly as they sat in an uncomfortable silence, glancing at one another between sips of their drinks, never meeting eyes but continuously trying to catch the other one looking.

Finally, Scott sighed. “Let’s get out of here.” He said.

Avitus looked up to him with some surprise. “Okay.” He stood in agreement. Scott wordlessly paid the bill and Avitus made a mental note to pay him back later, not wanting to interrupt the process.

o-o-o-o

There wasn’t a whole lot of entertainment potential on the Nexus, but Scott felt utterly opposed to the idea of ending this “date” and going back to… whatever the hell it was he usually did when he wasn’t working. Avitus didn’t seem to be itching to get back to work either. Scott made a mental note to be vigilant about the signs that he may want to leave. Avitus was, after all, still working on tracking down turian pods. If he decided he didn’t have time for a stroll around the Nexus, Scott wasn’t going to get in his way.

Conversation came and went, comments bounced off of one-another until one of them took off into a discussion, then fell out of play to let a new idea in. It wasn’t long before the silences between them became natural, and not the least bit uncomfortable.

They ended up back on the docks after not too long, overlooking the port and leaning against the railing. Sentiments were exchanged about the view, Scott stole glances at Avitus while he spoke of it fondly. Beautiful, despite being artificial, he’d said.

Avitus told Scott more about being a spectre. Scott asked if Avitus knew or met the first human spectre before they left the milky way, and Avitus said he’d been in the same room with him once, but they hadn’t spoken.

“What was Saren like?” Scott said. Avitus had dropped his name a few times in the conversation now, and it was obvious he had more than just some respect for the man.

“…Not anything like they say he was.” Avitus said, a little solemnly, and Scott was entirely inclined to believe him. “I wasn’t with him when it all went to shit, but I’ve always been sure there was a lot more to what really happened than what the rumors suggest.”

“Were you and him ever…?” Scott trailed off, hoping he’d understand the implication.

Avitus snickered a little. “No, it was never like that. Macen was my first and only real relationship. Even when I wasn’t too absorbed in work to think about that kind of thing, most encounters didn’t get past flings.”

He looked down at his hands as he spoke, touching his own fingers and rubbing his hands over one-another. It was as if he was hopelessly trying to stop them from shaking. “I miss the hell out of him.” His voice was breathy and it cracked, and Scott’s heart started to pound. He really needed to learn to put his foot in his mouth.

Avitus took in a deep, shaking breath, and then spoke. “What about you? Any relationships for the books? Stories of the one that got away?”

Scott cracked a wry smile at the thoughts that flooded his mind thanks to that question. His love life was far from his favorite topic, but it was clear Avitus needed the spotlight off of him.

“I’m only 24, so, nothing really that long term. I think the most was a year and a half, back in the milky way when I was 19.” That was before he’d transitioned or even come out. “I’ve had a few flings, but mostly just situations where I thought someone was my type and then… they weren’t. Or they were and it just didn’t work out. Or I was afraid it wouldn’t so I ran the other way.”

“Wow.” Avitus said. “That’s… a lot.”

It wasn’t lost on Scott that he’d just made himself sound about ten times less desirable.

“I’m just…” Scott started, then sighed. “…focused on other things now, I guess.” Avitus nodded, Scott wasn’t sure if it was just idle acceptance or understanding.

“So… Reyes?” Avitus offered.

“Ship’s sailed.” Scott shrugged. “We’re supposed to meet for drinks on Kadara so he can explain what happened on Havarl, but I don’t think it’ll be that way. Reyes is one of those ‘fun while it lasted’ things.”

“At least he’s still got people waiting in the wings to save your ass.” Avitus snorted. “I doubt he’s totally over you. Just in case you have any interested in rekindling an old flame…”

“Not right now.” Scott shook his head. “Right now I just need to focus on this pathfinder thing.”

“I hear you.” Avitus sighed. “It’s a lot to be thrown into. I don’t know how you did it all by yourself. Vederia and I had you to look to once we got here— and Raeka.”

“I wasn’t really alone. Had a great team.” Scott’s lips quirked into a small smile at the memory of the early days when it was just himself, Liam, Vetra, and Cora stumbling around on deadly planets like Eos.

When the memory of Eos came to mind, so sprang an idea.

“Come on.” Scott pushed away from the railing. “There’s something I wanna show you.”

“Oh…” Avitus hurried to catch up with Scott’s fast pace “…’kay.” He was walking in the direction of the stairs to hydroponics. He really hoped Scott wasn’t going to show him some plants. Havarl had removed all possibility of him having a fondness for plants.

He followed Scott curiously, past the greenhouses, past the apartments, and to the wall that separated the docking area on the upper level. There was a ladder that lead up to the top of the wall, and Scott immediately began to climb it.

“What are you doing?” Avitus looked around, fairly certain only Nexus construction workers were supposed to be climbing that.

“You’ll see.” Scott grinned down at him like a smug bastard, and Avitus groaned internally, before looking around once more. There were people about, but none of them were paying attention to them.

Once Scott made it to the top of the wall, he looked over the edge. About eight feet down was a steel plate— the ceiling of the pathway that lead to and across the docks.

“I really don’t think we should be up here…” Avitus was mostly referring to the large amount of stray nails and cans of opened, messy paint supplies lying about. Clearly this area was far from finished.

“I would never have expected such caution from an ex-spectre.” Scott said, critically, as he started to climb over the railing.

Avitus huffed. “Being an inconsiderate ass is a little different when it’s sanctioned by the—,” He cut himself off when he saw that Scott was now standing on the other side of the railing that divided safe ground from a fall off the wall’s edge. 

“What are you doing!?” He demanded, right before Scott jumped.

“Ryder!” Avitus threw himself at the railing, his upper body flinging out over it as he looked down, half expecting to see Scott just’s body just… falling. Instead, he was only a few feet down, standing on a slightly lower rooftop.

“Son of a…” Avitus grumbled as his heart started beating at a slightly normal pace again.

“Come down.” Scott grinned up at him. “Remember what you said about that view? It’ll be even better from here.” Scott started rather incautiously strolling along the center beam of the dock’s ceiling’s walkway. At the end of it was the tempest, Pathfinder Ryder’s ship.

Avitus looked behind him at the litter-ridden half-built wall, then out at the Tempest, then down a little closer where Scott had stopped and looked back at him. He waved, and Avitus sighed and then mumbled frustrations to himself as he started to climb over the railing.His feet hit the steel panel sooner than he expected, and Scott waited in the center of the beam for him to catch up.

“You sure are a piece of work.” Avitus said once he was only a few feet back, though not disapprovingly. Scott let out a short, sharp laugh and continued along the beam until they reached the end of it. Avitus noticed that it wouldn’t take much more than a short leap to make it to the Tempest’s wing.

Scott was already mid-jump when he noticed this.

“Scott!” He barked, and then felt a little silly when Scott touched down flawlessly on the ship’s wing.

“Come on.” Scott waved him along, and climbed further up the wing to the ship’s main body. Avitus heaved a sigh, and obliged. The distance was easier for him to hop than Scott thanks to his longer legs, but the group of people standing only a hundred meters away on the docks below made him a little anxious. He was too old for this. Maybe not physically, but definitely mentally.

Scott had already made his way toward the front of the ship, and had sat down by the time Avitus appeared beside him.

“I wanna do this while she’s flying.” Scott said, and then he lay back, folding his arms behind his head and propping one knee up as he looked out at the Nexus’s massive walls. “On Kadara, or Meridian. Some place pretty, just have Kallo hold her steady about five-hundred feet up.”

“That… would be breathtaking.” Avitus said. The wind, the view through a naked eye… the slight risk, even. It sounded like something Macen would have liked.

Quietly, Avitus obliged to lie down as well, a few feet away from Scott. It occurred to him as he did, that he’d never really looked up at what was above him in the Nexus. He could hardly see anything through the artificial clouding, but he could faintly make-out the massive metal framing. He didn’t mind the synthetics of it. After being stranded on a hostile planet, knowing you were somewhere under discernible control was a comfort.

“This is all kind of romantic. You’re not going to propose, are you?” Avitus turned his head to look at Scott, and Scott laughed.

“I wanted to make it a good date.” He said. “It’s the least I could do after inviting Drack to the first half.”

“Or you just wanted to scare the hell out of me by jumping off what I thought was a 40-foot wall.”

“That too.” Scott shrugged. 

“Don’t really like being kept on my toes, Ryder.” Avitus said, folding his hands behind his head and grinning. “I know I may seem like a hard worker but I’m lazy on the inside.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Scott said, a little humor in his voice. His eyes moved sideways to spot Avitus from the corner of them, and then rolled his head sideways to look at the side of his face. He felt like Avitus’s face plates were a little smaller than a lot of turians. Thinner, leaner if that made sense. Scott could pick apart all the little reasons why Avitus was so particularly attractive, from the slight curve of his bottom jawplate to the tiny fine point of his nose.

Avitus’s mandibles twitched again when he noticed Scott looking— and that. He loved when they did that.

It took a few moments for Scott to notice that Avitus was looking back at him. Scott didn’t look away immediately even then, and just fearlessly searched his eyes for whatever he was feeling.

He didn’t gather anything for certain, but it only took a few seconds for Avitus to divert his gaze. Surrendering, Scott looked down, away, and then started to sit up. “Well…” he looked around. “Now is about the time to admit that I didn’t have a plan for getting down from here.”

“Ryder!” Avitus sprung upright, hoping he was kidding, but feeling like his hopes were crushed by Scott’s intentionally dorky smile.

“We can probably just jump to the docks. It’s not that far down.” Scott stood up.

“Are you serious?” Avitus liked to save jumping off of ships for mid-combat. Not his days off.

“Sure. I’ll go first, and catch you.” Scott joked as he made his way toward the far end of the other wing, closest to the dock.

“This is the weirdest thing I’ve ever done.” Avitus grumbled to himself as he got up and followed after Scott.

“See-ya down there.” Scott waved, and then took a leap with only a slight run before hand.

Avitus sighed harshly, and jumped down after him.

They’d been spotted by Kallo Jath when they hit the ground, who just happened to be standing just outside the Tempest’s on ramp. He’d seen Scott fall from the sky and his jaw just dropped, and when Avitus followed, it dropped further.

Scott rattled off an overly casual. “Hey there Kallo.” As he walked by, toward the Nexus entrance.

“Afternoon.” Avitus nodded to him as well, equally laid-back.

Kallo’s eyes narrowed as he watched their shoulders bump, side-by-side with one-another as they shared silenced but obvious laughter by the way their heads were lowered and shoulders bounced.

“They seem to be getting along.” Suvi commented, fondly.

Kallo narrowed his eyes. “We just had her waxed and now there’s probably foot prints up there!” He mildly exploded, crossing his arms harshly. “Gil isn’t going to be happy either.”

Suvi laughed gently behind her hand.

o-o-o

“I should probably get back and smooth things over with Gil before Kallo tattles on me.” Scott said as they slowly approached pathfinder headquarters which was essentially where they’d started.

“Understandable.” Avitus said. “I have some work to get done, but it’s been fun.”

“See-ya around. Or at least the next time the colonies are in danger.” Scott said, not exactly hoping that would be soon, but it wasn’t unrealistic to expect that it would.

Avitus nodded. “Yeah. See you around.”

Avitus turned first, and Scott stayed put, watching him go. There was no wonder why his heart started to feel heavy. Whatever they had was over before it started and logically, that was the way it should have been. Avitus was older, he’d just been through a loss, and he was trying to focus on saving his people to come through it and save himself in the process.

But Scott’s mind was already a mess of the things that could have been.

He started to leave, but as he turned, happened to lock eyes with a familiar face just a few meters back. It was Idrya, standing upright and looking healthy. Next to her was a salarian, and another turian on her right.

She didn’t stop looking in his direction after their eyes met, so he started to approach.

“Uh.” The other turian with her looked right at him. “Why is a human coming over here?” Scott was already well within hearing range when he said it, and there had been no attempt at hush in his words.

“He’s the human pathfinder.” Idrya said, though somewhat dryly. “He saved my life.”

“Wow.” The other turian snorted. “How’d you swing that? Dumb luck?” He addressed Scott. Scott didn’t like his demeanor, but then, Vetra had mentioned Idrya was prejudice against humans. It made sense that her associates would be too.

“Is this the husband you were so adamant about getting back to?” Scott spoke to Idrya, critically.

“No.” Idrya said. “This is my husband, Azri.” She gestured to the salarian beside her, who nodded in respectful greeting. “This idiot is my brother.” She jerked a thumb toward the turian who’d spoken.

“I appreciate you bringing my wife home.” Azri spoke, humbly. “She can be reckless, and I don’t know what I’d do at my age if I found myself a widower.”

“You’re with someone who’s in the wrong line of work, then.” Idrya answered.

“It’s good to see you’re up and walking.” Scott said. “I take it you’re on some sort of leave?”

“Turian officers aren’t known for giving any more time than is absolutely necessary to recover. I’ll be back in the field in a couple of days, thanks to you.” She said.

The male turian whose name Scott hadn’t remembered receiving, seemed to be sneering with some sort of unwarranted disdain.

“Good to know.” Scott said. “Maybe I’ll see you out there, then.” With that, he turned away from them. He clearly wasn’t entirely welcome in their presence, and he had better things to do anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> weirdest first date ever


	5. Naive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter ends on kind of a sour note, and it's very plotty, but it's the last plot chapter. Also... I may have half-assed the end of the plot part because I really do not think anyone cared, and given the circumstances and later plans I couldn't come up with anything to make it interesting. Anyway, you'll see.
> 
> I'm mostly nervous about this chapter as it's almost all filler and slightly weird emotions... establishing things I had to establish, wrapping up the plot I tossed in... things like that. If you stick around IMO the next one is much better~

Pathfinder Hall was virtually empty in the early morning. Tann was there, pencil pushing, but his assistant wasn’t in yet, and neither were any of the other usuals. But despite having his own ship now, Avitus spent a lot of time using the resources there and research gathered by the other pathfinders to try and track down the missing turians. Scott wasn’t surprised to find him there again. He'd counted on it.

“You’re here early.” Avitus greeted. Scott had heavy eyelids and his arms crossed over his chest, still cold from leaving the warmth of his bed. He had a mug of coffee in his right hand, and he moved it very slowly to his lips to take a sip.

“Thought I’d see if there were any updates on our mission so we can get off this metal rock,” Scott spoke in tired half-truths. “By Tann’s silence, I’m guessing it’s a no.”

Avitus shrugged. He was flipping through what looked like Raeka’s log of her team’s recent travel, probably taking mental pictures of new starting points.

“Any luck?” Scott asked, delicately.

“I’ve been at this for hours, but all have is speculation,” Avitus heaved a sigh. “Couldn’t really sleep last night. If I can’t get out there, the least I can do is figure out as many places as I can to look for leads.”

“We could ask Tann to grant you leave, I’m sure the rest of us can handle Havarl.” Scott suggested.

“I already took the liberty,” Avitus admitted. “We’re leaving tomorrow morning.”

“That’s good,” Scott was glad. Finding those pods was not only important to Avitus, it was life and death. It must’ve been near impossible to wait around instead of chasing them.

Scott loosened up a little and walked lazily over to the console where Avitus seemed to have pre-set a course and marked some planets and locations in asteroid belts. He was observing silently when footsteps made his eyes flick up.

His eyes met with Tiran Kandros’s just as he was ascending the stairs up to the main floor of pathfinder hall. 

“Two pathfinders meeting this early… is something going on?”

“Nothing to worry about, just checking in.” Scott assured, and Kandros seemed slightly surprised, his mandibles twitching. Kandros was probably aware of Scott’s usual unwillingness to get out of bed before noon unless absolutely necessary. It had gotten in the way of his operations more than once early Nexus. 

Wordlessly, he turned to address Avitus. “How’s the search for the turian survivors?” Kandros asked.

“Better, with your resources and men backing mine up. It’s appreciated.”

“It’s my job as much as yours, Pathfinder. I still have a few names of people missing that I’m hoping we’ll find… alive.”

Scott tensed, and stepped back, feeling like he was in the middle of something important that he wasn’t meant to be apart of.

“I hear you,” Avitus said, his voice strained as he busied himself flipping through pages. He looked visibly uncomfortable now, maybe a little distraught, and Scott wasn’t sure he was actually reading anything on those pages.

Kandros turned to Scott quickly, as if to pull attention away from Avitus. “You look cold,” he commented. Scott still had his arms crossed, practically hugging himself, and his left hand that wasn’t holding the coffee was tucked into his right sleeve.

“Yeah, but I have coffee,” he raised the mug slightly with a lazy smile. “Warms me up.”

Kandros considered. “I can think of better ways to warm you up,” he said, no shortage of suggestiveness in his tone, and then he was walking away, back down the stairs.

Scott was too tired for his eyes to widen or to gape, so he just stared after Kandros blankly, mouth slightly open as if he intended to say something but couldn’t make words. He looked at Avitus, who was already looking at him in question, and maybe some suspicion.

Kandros was already half-way out the door by the time Scott put his coffee down, held up a finger to ask Avitus to wait, and hurried after him.

“Um,” he addressed, catching Kandros just outside the door to pathfinder hall. “What was that?” Kandros turned casually to face him.

Scott had flirted with Kandros more times than could have been healthy for him, or attempted to. There had never really been a strong response, especially after he woke up those protester’s families. He’d since given up.

“Nothing,” Kandros answered simply. “But did you see the way his neck snapped up to look at me in shock when I said that?” He was speaking cryptically as hell and looking off thoughtfully at the same time. “Something going on between you two?”

Scott opened his mouth, then shut it. “Are you his dad?”

Kandros laughed, only slightly. “He’s older than I am,” he snorted. “No, nothing like that. Just curious as you’re both high-ranking officers with an important job to do.”

“Nothing’s going on,” Scott said, and when he heard himself he was aware that he didn’t sound convincing. “We… decided nothing was going on,” He clarified.

“I see.” Kandros gave a sharp nod. “Probably best.”

Scott shrugged. “So… you’re not going to be warming me up, then?” He tried.

Kandros laughed louder this time, and walked around him, brushing his shoulder as he passed. “Catch me on my day off, if that ever comes,” was all he said. Scott stood still, trying to wrap his mind around all the things that just came out of Kandros’s mouth. 

The guy was probably an enigma he was never meant to solve, but the kind that was overly tempting to try. He shook it off, and headed back into pathfinder hall, intending to ask Avitus if he wanted breakfast. Nothing romantic about bringing someone breakfast while they worked.

o-o-o-o

Avitus has accepted the offer with thanks and Scott brought him something turian-friendly from the carry-out kiosk, the name of which he couldn’t pronounce. But one of the turian staff had assured it was common for consumption in the morning. Food selection was limited on the Nexus, but he didn’t imagine Avitus was very picky.

When Scott returned, Avitus seemed to think he was onto something based on an audio log Vederia had recently salvaged from a Milky Way derelict that suggested a possible sighting of Natanus before it was beyond all hope.

Scott held things, made vague suggestions, offered a second SAM’s opinion on gathered data (not disclosing that it would be a more advanced SAM’s opinion) and all in all just watched as Avitus became absorbed in the idea that he might’ve been days from finding more pods. Scott hoped he was right. He hoped the light in Avitus’s eyes at that moment wouldn’t fade to more loss and disappointment. He wished there was something he could do to spare him from that possibility, or at very least, be there for him if it came to be.

But he couldn’t step in like that. All he could do was stay and watch, and do all of the little things he could to help.

It wasn’t long before some of Avitus’s team found him, and took on helping out with the search as well. It was around that time that Scott thought it best to take his leave. The three of them seemed so absorbed, that he made the choice to do so wordlessly, and slipped out of pathfinder hall without anyone noticing.

o-o-o-o

Avitus hadn’t been thrilled when Idrya asked him if he wanted to go out for drinks. She was all right herself as far as he could tell. But her brother, Antos, stuck to her like glue. He was an acquaintance from before his time as a spectre and the last time Avitus saw him he was vocally prejudice against humans. That had been years upon years ago, but he’d hoped to never have to interact with the man again.

It was unfortunate that he somehow ended up in Andromeda. But, Idrya had offered to pay, and he welcomed the break.

Antos was obnoxious in other ways too. For instance, as Avitus attempted to order a drink, Antos cut him off and ordered something different for him, insisting he’d like it. He already knew he wasn’t going to drink a sip of what Antos had flagged down for him.

Ever since he was pathfinder instead of spectre, the most unexpected people seemed more keen on befriending him. Maybe it was partly because he’d saved most of their lives. But that wasn’t the case with Antos and Idrya. Both of them had been serving on the Nexus, not Natanus.

Despite everything, Avitus was there. He would have much preferred to continue working, or even just to go back to his quiet apartment and drink and/or wallow in peace. But, there he was at Vortex for the second time in two days. This time in even less desirable company than Scott’s talkative krogan friend.

“So Avitus.” Antos began, cutting off Idrya mid-laughter, who covered her mouth and leaned in, as if to feign interest. “We saw you spending a lot of time with the human pathfinder.”

Avitus’s eyes narrowed. Antos mentioning humans never ended well. The man was a mess of hypocrisy and ego, and Avitus hated himself for coming here.

“He’s a friend.” He replied, with a bit of spit. He didn’t know if friend was a more accurate word than colleague at this point, but it was what he went with. Besides, “friend” would get on Antos’s nerves more. “Is there a problem?” Avitus asked, deadpan.

“Hey, hey!” Antos raised his arms defensively. “I can see why you’d be up in arms, I know I haven’t had the best things to say about humans in the past. But I’ve changed my stance a bit.”

Avitus let himself be a little intrigued, it was unexpected, but equally hard to believe.

“We’ve seen the way he looks at you.” Idrya said, suggestively, grinning a bit. Avitus tensed, he clammed up. How did Scott look at him?

“What?”

“Like he wants you to unwrap him like a present.” Idrya snorted at his confusion.

“That would be one hall of a present. I’d go for it if I had the connections.” Antos interrupted. “Humans are a hell of a fun time in bed, once you get passed the safety precautions that come with the ingesting of various bodily fluids. They’re soft everywhere, warm on the inside. Eager, easily pleased… like a less condescending version of asari.”

Avitus had gone from visibly uncomfortable to visibly about to rip Antos’s face plate clean off.

“Not great for much else though.” Antos chuckled, and Idrya failed to laugh along with him. “Especially that pathfinder. We lost half the turian ark before he even remembered it existed.”

Avitus took a deep breath. “This was a mistake.” He said, standing.

“What?” Antos blinked, like he couldn’t fathom what had gone wrong. “Avi!” He protested, and Avitus stopped, dead in his tracks, and glared death at them. The pair visibly tensed under his gaze.

“Don’t. Call me that.” He said, deadpan. “Scott saved my life, your life! All of us.” He shouted, and the chatter in Vortex became just a bit quieter. “You wouldn't be sitting there if not for him, and you have no right to talk about him like that.”

“Wow, way to lose your shit.” Antos snorted. “My bad, I didn’t realize you were in love or something. I wonder what Macen would think?”

Idrya was the first to react when Avitus reached over, grabbed Antos by the front of his armor, and yanked him out of the booth. She just barely got out of the way in time.

“If your pathetic excuse for an existence ever so much as speaks his name again I’ll rip your fucking tongue out.” Avitus spat mercilessly, holding his face only inches from his, looking him hard in the eye to make sure he understood.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa…” Avitus recognized the intervener as Liam Kosta, one of Scott’s crew. 

“Let's not start a fight. One of you has to leave.” Liam said, sounding firm and unwavering, almost like law enforcement would.

Avitus was taken by surprise for a different reason. His grip on Antos loosened. Did Liam being here mean Scott was too?

Before he could scan the area, Antos’s fist connected with his jaw amidst his distraction. The impact knocked him sideways and before he knew it, he was on the ground.

“Come on Idrya, let’s-,”

Antos was cut off mid-sentence, and Avitus was a little too disoriented to see what by until he heard a thud lulled his head over to find Antos’s face at his level, on his back, holding a hand to his jaw as he groaned in pain.

“Scott!” Liam sounded outrage, and Avitus’s eyes flicked up to find Scott Ryder shaking his hand, knuckles bloodied, glowering down at Antos. Avitus stared back up at him, face painted with surprise.

Scott's eyes met his, and his face softened. He offered a hand to help Avitus up, and however disoriented, Avitus accepted it.

“Security!” The Asari behind the bar shouted. "Get those three out of here until they cool off!”

“No. It's okay.” Scott raised his hands. Antos was still on the ground, holding his hand against his jaw. Idrya wasn’t making any moves to help him up. “We’ll leave.” He took Ativus by the wrist without another word, and pulled him out.

“Thanks,” Scott said, breathing heavy, appearing a little winded himself. “For sticking up for me.”

“I didn’t know you heard that…” Avitus said, feeling embarrassed out of his mind and still stuck on wondering if Scott really did look at him the way Idrya said or if she was just over-analyzing.

“Your friend is a creep.” Scott clearly was a little shaken despite having kept his cool until now. His words were coming out between pants.

“Not my friend. Shouldn’t have gone anywhere with them.” Avitus said, “Sorry you had to hear that.”

“I just wish I could have kicked his ass a little harder.” Scott said, breathing deeply, and letting it out slow. “That really pissed me off, especially when he hit you…” Scott shook his bleeding hand again, huffing and puffing.

“We should get someone to look at that. it could be broken.” Avitus urged. “Maybe Lexi? The Tempest isn’t far.”

Scott looked at his shaking, bleeding hand, and sighed. It looked bad and it hurt like hell— human hands weren’t made for punching turians in their faces as hard as you can. “She’ll kill me if I don’t.”

“Come on then. You should hurry.” Avitus was the one to start moving in the dock’s direction, and Ryder smiled after him and his urgency and insistence. 

“Like I want him to unwrap me like a present, huh?” He spoke his thoughts under his breath, and sighed before following after him, a few feet behind.

“Your eyes have consistently had a tendency to linger on Pathfinder Rix, moreso than many of your companions, since he was first appointed as pathfinder.” SAM’s voice interfered.

“Sam, that was so far from a question for you.”

“My apologies.”

Scott would have said he didn’t sound sorry.

o-o-o-o

Scott woke up pissed for about the third time in the past three days.

It had been five days since they got back from the Havarl mission, and he and his team were still tied to the Nexus. They were allowed as far as Eos now, but Tann insisted that if they needed something short notice, Ryder and his team was the one asset he absolutely needed to have on hand.

So he was bored, and the Nexus was ultimately a more desirable place to spend their days than Eos was. Liam and Jaal in particular seemed to welcome the break, but that only annoyed Scott more.

They were touching now. They used to punch each other on the shoulders or give short hugs or grab each other’s faces and push their foreheads together while laughing. But now it was more like Jaal casually putting his hand on Liam’s lower back while they were standing next to each other looking over weapon blueprints. Or Liam running a thumb over the scar on Jaal’s face with both their faces far too close together. 

They hadn’t made anything official yet but it was obvious there was something more than unadmitted attraction brewing now. Scott wasn’t jealous, but given that he’d already lost Vetra and Sara to each other… Jaal and Liam acting exclusive too left him with few options.

Gil was always with Jill and Scott genuinely didn’t like her. There was a time he fantasized about scooping Gil out of her clutches but that cause was a little lost since he and Gil had failed to become especially close. Peebee was busy with some new project. There was Cora and Lexi but he’d never been particularly close to either of them.

He just wanted something to do. A world to save. A path to find. A hobby, for shit’s sake. But he’d left all of his hobbies in the milky way.

He nearly ran into Cora on his way to the bathroom, clothes still ruffled, hair still mussed. She looked like she’d been up for a while based on her state of dress, but her eyes looked tired.

“Hey Scott.” She said, eyes downcast.

“Hey Cora.” He replied, just as tiredly.

“I heard the Salarian team got released from house arrest yesterday.” She said. “Maybe we’re next.”

Scott hadn’t seen or spoken to Avitus through vidcall or even e-mail since Lexi patched up his hand. Scott didn’t contact him because he didn’t have a good enough reason, and Avitus never made contact either. It was stupid that it even bothered him so much, but he couldn’t help being almost immaturely irritated that he couldn’t have what he wanted.

“Yeah.” Scott said, bitterly. Avitus had been excused from responsibility to Havarl and was off-world somewhere again. Who knew when he’d be back.

A moment later he noticed Cora studying him, as if suspicious.

“What?” Scott pouted.

“Nothing…” Cora said, turning slightly to walk away.

“What?” Scott was even more confused.

“I’ll talk to Tann about the status of Havarl.” Cora called back. “See if we can’t just blow those assholes off the face of it and be done.” She waved over her shoulder, and Scott was left a little angry, a little lost, and still having to pee.

o-o-o-o

Something Cora said must’ve sparked either Initiative or Resistance action because the next morning they were finally suiting up to head back to Havarl. It wasn’t to blow anyone off the face of anything, but the Moshae was still interested in the spot marked on the outcasts’s map that Vederia failed to get to.

This time they were sending in bigger guns.

“He seems better.” Jaal said lowly, to Liam, who looked over his shoulder. Scott was looking in the mirror, adjusting his gear, rolling his shoulders, taking deep breaths. The dark circles under his eyes that had been hanging around for the past three days were gone. He looked wide awake, and he wasn’t smiling but his entire demeanor felt more upbeat. Liam was glad for it.

“Guess he’s a workaholic.” Liam murmured. “Not happy unless there’s a job to do?”

“Maybe he’s as interested in the objective as the Moshae? Or seeks revenge for our last encounter? Jaal suggested.

“Both wrong.” Peebee said, less quietly than the two of them. The trio watched and waited as Scott left the room. Then Peebee continued. “The turian and asari pathfinders are being called in with their teams as well. We’re working together again.”

“So?” Liam questioned.

“So, while you two have been sucking face in engineering when Gil’s out and you think no one’s looking—.”

Jaal chuckled lightly at the prospect of having been caught while Liam flushed and shoved his shoulder. Jaal covered his mouth, and cleared his throat.

“—the rest of us have been paying attention.” She finished. “Or, Suvi has. And I’ve been talking to Suvi.”

“What are you on about?” Liam pressed, genuinely curious but also eager to forget what Peebee had just revealed she knew.

“He’s hot for the turian pathfinder.” She shrugged. “Duh.”

“Oh.” Liam said, thinking back. “I guess I could see that.”

“They did have a certain… intense sort of regard for each other…” Jaal said thoughtfully.

“Yeah!” Peebee said. Until this moment she wasn’t sure whether to believe Suvi and was somewhat worried about spreading false rumors, but their credibility helped. “So let’s do what we can to stay out of their way and let them do whatever it is humans and turians… do… so we don’t have to deal with depressing Ryder again.”

“Sounds good to me.” Liam nodded, shutting his equipment locker. “Let’s head out there, then.”

o-o-o

The asari pathfinder team was the first to make it to the rendezvous point, and were tasked this time with setting up stronger, more permanent base before the others arrived. When the human team showed up it was almost entirely put together. They lent a hand in finishing up, and that made room for operations to get under way.

The turian team had been fairly far out, and by the time it started to get dark, the forward group got word that they had only just landed on Havarl. Scott was itching for them to show in order to things moving. 

Once discussions with Vederia had gone as far as they could go, he took to waiting outside the main command center, looking off in the direction he’d groundlessly guessed they’d be coming from.

Vederia was just stepping out of the command center herself when Scott spotted them emerging from the flora surrounding the base. “There.” He said, maybe a little over-excited. Avitus was at the front, and Scott didn’t hesitate to start down the stairs to meet them. Vederia followed.

“Pathfinder.” Avitus greeted, looking directly at Vederia. “My men are ready to move on, daylight or none.” 

“Likewise. We have infrared equipment to spare in the main barracks. If anyone on your team is a particularly good shot, there are spare sniper rifles with infrared as well.”

“We’ll make use of them.” Avitus said and he nodded his people off, and they scattered to move around him.

Vederia bowed out as well, and Ryder waved her off, before turning back to face Avitus, opening his mouth and—

Avitus walked past him without a word, leaving Scott standing there with his mouth open, suddenly gone dry, with a sinking feeling in his gut. He didn’t move for a few moments as it set in that Avitus didn’t look at him even once, and had just pointedly ignored him.

“Ouch.” Peebee said to Jaal, watching from just inside the barracks. Jaal hummed in wary agreement, and looked at Avitus Rix critically as he walked inside. He wanted to give the man a piece of mind just for making him watch Scott freeze up so obviously mortified, but he held himself back.

“Guess they’re throwing us right into it.” Vetra said as she slapped an ammo brick into her rifle. “Nice to be under cover of dark this time.”

“Agreed.” Avitus said, picking up one of the sniper rifles Vederia had mentioned.

Scott was still standing just outside the base, a little unsure of what to do. They were all getting ready to move out. There was no time to talk or confront what just happened. Maybe Avitus was just too focused on the mission for meaningless greetings. It made Scott’s heart feel heavy, but he hoped that was all it was.

o-o-o-o

Avitus was leading up the group with his team, quite a few feet ahead of Scott’s. Scott couldn’t stop looking at his back, wanting to walk up and say something to him. He could hardly think of doing well in combat with this kind of uncertainty in the air.

“I’m gonna go talk to him.” He blurted out, hanging his shotgun over his shoulder by the strap.

“Scott!” Vetra reached out to stop him, but Scott was already hurrying to close the distance between their teams.

“Hey, Avitus.” Scott said once he’d jogged up beside him.

“Pathfinder.” Avitus greeted, with little emotion, once again not even looking at him. That kind of stung, and didn’t feel right at all. “Were you concerned about something?” He sounded blatantly sarcastic and irritated. Now it was more than clear he was getting the cold shoulder.

“Uh…” Scott said. “I just felt like maybe you were moving kind of slow. Try and pick up the pace?” He was speaking before he considered his words carefully. But the obvious scorn in his voice tone did get Avitus to look at him.

It didn’t help. Avitus looked at him with daggers in his eyes and no amusement whatsoever. It wasn’t a reaction to what Scott said, it was a warning to back off, and Scott’s heart started to pound in his throat. He opened his mouth, taken-aback, and then shut it, slowing his pace to let himself fall behind, and finally stopped.

Clearly he’d done something wrong.

This wasn’t the time or place for Avitus to be putting up walls, but yet here they were. As his team started to pass him, giving him confused looks, Scott felt resentful. What kind of asshole pulls that shit on an important mission?

“Fucking spectres…” Was all he could come up with.

“Scott?” Sara had stopped with him. “We should keep moving.” She suggested.

“Yeah.” He said, grudgingly, and forced himself to walk. This was the stupidest thing he’d experienced since they first showed up in Andromeda.

“Keep your head in the game, Scott.” She said. “This is bigger than us.”

“I know.” Scott said, sighing heavily. “Glad you’re here at least.”

Sara scoffed. “You should take me along more often then, pathfinder.”

“Not my fault that I became way more badass than you while you were sleeping.” Scott shrugged. “I worry you won’t be able to keep up anymore.”

Sara’s jaw dropped and she could have smacked him, but instead just took to staring at him in offended disbelief. “I still have ten times better aim than you!”

“I have a pet observer.”

“I’d just have to ask Peebee if I wanted one of those!”

“I’ve punched over two-thousand Kett. In their faces.” Scott said.

“Well I’m sure that hurt their bone-headed feelings a whole lot.” Sara mocked, and Scott laughed because she had a point.

o-o-o-o

“Pathfinder, we’re nearing the point marked on the outcasts’s settlement map. Censors are picking up traces of milky way tech.” Scott didn’t need SAM to tell him that when he saw that Avitus’s team had just come to a stop and begun spreading out at what looked like the edge of a clearing, but it was hard to tell in the dark.

Once he got closer, he could faint white lights shining through trees.

“That’s…” His eyes widened. “Part of an ark?” It was a huge mass of black metal, small trees crushed underneath the head of it but for the most part it had landed in a clearing. There was light shining out from the inside, and it flickered, but it was prominent enough to be clear that it still had reliable power. 

“Natanus.” Vederia clarified. “They’re powering it, and from what intel we have, the pods inside are still functional. They’re still alive in there, but the access codes to open them safely are lost. They need a pathfinder— a SAM, in order to open them.”

“And then what, they convert the turians to Outcasts?” Sara asked.

“Most likely. Spin a story implicating the Nexus as villains, offer them food, water— plenty of that on Havarl now. There are at least a hundred in there.” Vederia said. “That’s close to a small army.”

“A hundred…” Scott’s eyes drifted to Avitus, who he could imagine was nothing short of ecstatic, but was yet to say anything. His eyes were fixed on it, though, and it was obvious he could hardly wait to clear the area and take it back.

“That’s what they were going to use me for.” Vederia said. “And they intended to kill me afterward.” She finished.

“Then we’ll have no problem shooting them all in their faces.” Avitus spoke, finally. “These guys are lucky to have found something so valuable, but they’re disorganized and scrambling like mean children playing a game of civilization at best.” He went on. “If we take control of this place, we need to maintain it until we can safely extract those inside.”

“What about the settlement full of armed guards just a few klicks east?” Scott asked.

“We don’t have the manpower to take it out, but we can hold them off here with what we have.” Vederia answered. “We have medical specialists waiting for the all-clear, as soon as we’ve secured that hall, we’ll start getting them out of there.”

It sounded like a sound plan— if they kept themselves defended, there was no way the stray outcasts could breach it with the losses that settlement just took.

“Avitus will take point, he has the most combat experience in these types of situations— and it is the turian ark.” Vederia said. “Scott and his team will cover him.”

Scott blinked. “Since when did you start giving orders?” He certainly wasn’t unhappy.

“Since you both seem emotionally compromised.” Vederia answered. “Avitus is understandable given the nature here, but I could use your head back in the game.” She said to Scott.

“Right.” Scott said quickly, feeling embarrassed. He thought he’d seen Avitus’s eyes flick to him, but when he looked, he was pointedly looking anywhere else. “Ready to move out on your signal, Avitus.” He said, plainly.

Avitus sighed heavily, but just after gave a sharp nod. “Let’s get them away from my people.”

o-o-o-o-o

The security was certainly high for a small group’s standards, as it should have been only few days after they knew their position had been compromised. But it was nothing for a group of experienced had-to-be fighters lead by a former spectre. It got to the point where Scott spent more time watching Avitus than his own ass.

Snipers were covering them from the woods, but Scott was half-convinced Avitus could have done this all on his own. He moved his sights from target to target mid-run, no hesitation, taking them out with quick shots to the head, shooting out the legs of those that were moving, quickly finishing them off as they went down.

When one of them managed to get close to him with some sort of sword, he ducked it like he’d seen it coming minutes ago, and caught the woman holding it by her throat, throwing her down and shooting her chest twice, before moving on.

“Ryder!” Someone shouted, and Scott just barely managed to duck out of the way of a sniper laser before he heard it go off, just barely missing the hairs on his head. He looked up to see the sharpshooter shot down by Avitus from long range with just his assault rifle.

“Thanks!” He called out, the person warning him had been Idrya.

“Pay attention.” She shouted harshly. Scott took her advice decidedly, and raised his weapon. But he quickly found that the few outcasts left were retreating.

“Shouldn’t we take them out?” One asari suggested. “They’re just going to come back with back-up!” She aimed her weapon.

“Don’t shoot!” Scott shouted. They were running away… he couldn’t in good conscience let—

In a matter of seconds, three of them fell to gunfire. Three others manages to escape plausible range before they could be taken out.

“You can play noble hero later, Ryder.” Avitus’s voice came from beside him. It was his rifle that had brought them down “I’m not letting anyone jeopardize getting my people out of here.” He was already making his way toward the large, broken opening. It was hooked up to two massive generators and powered by coords running into its paneling.

Scott ground his teeth. The asari was right in that they were likely to just bring back a whole new force to fight along with the numbers that escaped, but it was still fucked up to shoot people down as they were retreating.

“Whatever.” Scott said, harshly. “Just get it done.”

o-o-o

Avitus, Vederia, and Scott were tasked with opening the stasis pods as quickly the medical officers could attend to them. Everyone else was manning security posts toward the front of the small research base, along with some added back-up. Patrols were set up to keep enemies out of range so shuttles could move waves of the newly awoken turians out once they were ready.

The turians were disoriented, most were terrified, some seemed to be losing themselves and it was painful to watch them attempt to deal with the situation without all of the information. So far, all they were being told was that their segment of the ship broke off, and it was a miracle they were found alive. No one was to mention that a large portion of Natanus was dead or missing. They couldn’t deal with the hysteria of newly awoken turians until after they got them all somewhere safe.

They only got through a quarter of the pods by sunrise, and by that time, everyone was exhausted. The outcasts hadn’t made an attack attempt yet. Perhaps they were fleeing or bolstering their defenses back at the settlement instead— that would have been the smarter option given their dwindling numbers.

Regardless, the atmosphere felt rather solemn for the magnitude of what they were doing. They’d find over a hundred of the turian pods, and they were alive. Scott felt like there should have been more celebration, at least from the turians themselves.

It was around the opening of the 35th pod or so, after they were told to wait a while before opening another because all of the doctors were busy and the last shuttle had just left full. Scott found an opening in their work, and approached Avitus.

He did it carefully, though he was having a hard time stopping himself from being irritated with the way Avitus was suddenly acting toward him. He just wanted to know why.

“So…” He started. Avitus didn’t look at him. “Excuse me if I’m not reading things right, but did I do something wrong?”

Avitus snorted, almost immediately. “Of course not.” Avitus said, voice laced with sarcasm. “The brave human pathfinder, saved the Nexus and all of us. He’s never done anything wrong.”

Scott crossed his arms, pointedly. “That’s not true.” He said. “But now I’m wondering which mistake managed to piss you off.”

Avitus scowled. “I got that hint about the Natanus wreckage on Elaaden two weeks before you contacted me back to investigate it. Two weeks spent waiting, assuming you were doing something important… more important than saving lives.” He went on. “We could have found Natanus two weeks earlier.”

Scott’s heart felt heavy, because he suddenly knew exactly what Avitus was talking about. “Turns out you were doing favors on Kadara for the charlatan in hopes of getting in his pants.”

Scott’s eyes downcast at the accusation, because it wasn’t inaccurate. He had put the problems in Kadara before anywhere else because that was where Reyes was. He’d been confronted the same way by Drack. He just wondered how Avitus came to know this.

“I…”

“Just save it.” Avitus said.

But the fact that he’d already been confronted by Drack mean he’d had a lot of time to think about it, and he wasn’t caught off guard.

"No." Scott bit back, taking a harsh step forward. "That's it? That's why you've been acting like a jackass this whole mission?" He could hardly believe it.

Avitus was looking at him in a mix if anger and surprise. It was clear he wasn't in the mood to be challenged, but Scott was done with the silent treatment. 

"Kadara was a priority." Scott argued. "I left the minute we got the outpost, I moved on. Maybe it was a bad call. Maybe I let my feelings control which way I was looking, but my actions there are the reason we got an outpost on Kadara, an alliance with the exiles, and their help in taking Meridian." He went on. "Maybe it wasn't perfect, but it's over. And you can hate me for it if you want, but you're not exactly the model of selflessness yourself, and a two week difference wouldn't have saved Macen." 

Avitus glared icey daggers at him. "This isn't about Macen." 

"Everything is!" Scott argued. "You expect me to believe you're killing yourself to find all these pods for you? The guy who had to be talked into being pathfinder right before you tried to leave it to someone else? You barely spoke of anything else while we were there, standing among the evidence you needed to track down turians who were in danger. All of this is about Macen. Because it’s what he would have done.” 

Avitus stared at him, hatefully and unmoving. "That's a bold insinuation." He said, darkly. 

"So was yours." Scott bit back. “For someone twice my age you sure are acting childish.”

"Leave, Ryder." Avitus looked away from him. "Vederia and I can open the rest." 

"Can do." Scott sputtered as he turned on his heal, and left the ark hall.

Liam was standing outside the entrance, on guard, like he’d been asked to. His eyes met with Scott and he smiled big, but it was forced and awkward as all hell.

Scott sighed. “Don’t listen to things, Liam.”

“You were the ones shouting.” Liam countered, though he kept his voice low enough that Avitus probably couldn’t even hear they were speaking, let alone what he was saying. “For the record, neither of you were being fair. But you really hit him where it hurts. Better start working on that apology.”

Scott heaved a sigh and rolled his eyes. “Do not mention this to Kallo.” With that, he went off to find Sara. She’d talk to him about missing pudding and her ugly pet gerbil back in the Milky Way. That’s what he needed right now.

o-o-o

The sun started to set, and there had been no attacks. The Moshae was forced to assume they were bolstering defenses on their main location, and had abandoned the turian pods. She was in the process of banding together a strike force to move in on them, and she’d already asked Pathfinder Ryder’s team to join in the efforts when they time came. He’d agreed.

Scott had been standing guard like everyone else since he and Avitus got into it. But standing guard had become more of a mix of standing around and doing favors for the medical technicians when necessary. Mostly a lot of waiting.

“Scott.” Sara said suddenly in an alert tone. He turned to her quickly, thinking she might’ve seen or heard something.

“What is it?”

“No, nothing.” She said. “Sorry, I just remembered… two days from now is our birthday.” She said, and laughed under her breath.

“Oh yeah.” Scott said, “I forgot too.” He’d noted it about a month ago, but it hadn’t come to mind since. “If this blows over, maybe we can do something.”

“Birthday? The day you were born? That is something to celebrate.” Jaal cut in, having overheard.

“Humans celebrate their own birthdays every year, at least when they’re kids.” Sara clarified. “We’ll probably do something small, if we have time.”

Jaal looked to Vetra, who looked to him as well and they shared a wordless communication that made Scott squint with suspicion. But nothing more was said between them— at least for that time.

o-o-o

A day later, the turians had finally been moved off-world. The outcasts settlement had surrendered without much of a fight, and Scott and Avitus still hadn’t spoken.

Scott was walking up the ramp to the tempest, sore all over and ready for his next six-hundred year nap. The turian pathfinding team was long gone, and he didn’t know when he’d see them again.

Liam had told him to work on his apology, and he was getting there. To working on it, to no longer being pissed off about what he’d been accused of and to putting his justifications behind him. It was probably best Avitus wasn’t here, because Scott wasn’t ready to say anything nice to him yet.

Whether he felt guilty or betrayed, he was still fighting with himself over it.

Tann had directed them to return to the Nexus immediately, though he didn’t specify why. Scott didn’t mind as long as he had his cabin, and SAM to vent to if the need persisted.

“Did you pick up anything?” Scott was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling with his legs and arms sprawled out as if they weren’t going to move for quite a while. “Was he nervous? Unsure of what he was saying?”

“You didn’t scan him, pathfinder.” SAM reminded, and Scott sighed. 

“Yeah, that would have been a terrible idea.” He supposed it was too much to hope that SAM could pick up on something helpful.

Technically it didn’t matter, because he and Avitus Rix weren’t supposed to be close, or friends. They were barely colleagues and only worked together on occasion. He didn’t need Avitus to like him for all intents and purposes. But god, he wanted him to.

He wanted him to look at Scott the way Scott looked at him, and he wanted him to want to touch him, kiss him, be close to him. He was too tired to do anything but embrace it. He closed his eyes and let himself imagine being held by Avitus, being wanted, being…

…his hand got as far as his thigh before he decided he was far too sore to be so unbridled with fantasies, and let it fall to his side.

He just wanted to be something to Avitus, because Avitus was already something to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No worries, they'll get good with each other again very soon. I wanted it to happen by the end of this chapter, but this one's already almost twice the length of the others and I'm a good thousand or so words from the scene where they're cool again. So. Here.
> 
> This chapter sure as hell isn't a masterpiece but it got some stuff out of my way. Chapter 5 is super avitus/ryder focused, with that bit of kandros/ryder i mentioned, and reyes finally makes his appearance. hooway.


	6. Collide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I got really busy this weekend and this took longer than intended to put up (I meant to do it saturday) but voila! Here it is! Hopefully I can get 6 up within the next few days as well.
> 
> I was wrong about my estimations and Reyes won't actually appear until next chapter-- but I believe everything else I promised was included. Plus some emotions.

“Scott.”

Scott’s eyes twitched at the sound but he didn’t move. If he pretended the voice didn’t wake him and he was still asleep, maybe it would just go away.

 _“Scott.”_ Clearly Liam’s voice, and it sounded like he was leaning over him, in bed… _was this reality or a really good dream?_

“Ryder!” Liam barked. Scott decided it probably wasn’t a dream. Sex dream Liam would never call him by his last name, let alone so harshly. He got back to trying not to move or hint that he was awake.

“Pathfinder, Mr. Kosta is attempting to—.”

Letting out a frustrated guttural sound, Scott shot up, nearly smacking Liam with flailing arms as he frustratedly waved away the voice in his head, and above it. 

“The hell do you all want?” He looked at the clock. It was 8 pm, but he’d gotten to sleep around 1 pm after the mission. “I haven’t slept nearly enough yet. Go bother Gil,” he slammed his head back down on the pillow.

“Okay,” Liam said. “If you want to miss your surprise party.”

Scott’s eyes opened slowly. He blinked, and then sat up, looking at Liam pointedly.

“Did you just spoil the surprise of my surprise party?”

“Would you have gotten out of bed if I hadn’t told you the reason why?” Liam asked.

Scott considered. “…Not a chance in hell,” then he sighed, “when is it?”

“They’re setting up now. Probably starting around nine… Jaal and Vetra rented out Vortex and all the big names on the Nexus are coming.”

“Wonderful. Tann, Addison… all my best friends,” Scott was being mostly sarcastic.

“Also Vederia and Raeka,” Liam said, “and Avitus Rix.” He spoke a little too knowingly.

“They came back here?”

“For the party.”

“Avitus came back to the Nexus for _my_ party?” Scott found that hard to believe given the state of their relationship. 

“Well, in order to sell it we had to say it was also a celebration for finding all those turians. But the other half is yours and Sara’s birthday party, and everyone’s aware of that too,” Liam said. “Except Sara… we didn’t have to spoil it for her to get her out of bed, so we’re hoping to be able to shout “surprise” when she walks in.” He waved his hands in the air and wiggled his fingers as he imitated the plan of attack.

“I want in on that.” Scott said. Sara would love it.

“Then get up, get ready. Put on something nice. Remember, Avitus will be there.”

“What the hell, Liam?” Scott barked, wondering where the hell his crew got enough information to be so suggestive.

“Hope you worked on that apology!” Liam practically jogged out of the room, leaving Scott in his cabin with his limited wardrobe, wondering what to wear.

o-o-o

Vortex. Music, drinks, probably dancing. That was what was on his mind when he chose a tight black tank-top that barely met the top of his pants and a grey suede jacket to wear over it. He went with his only pair of jeans that he was almost sure he’d never worn before. They were tight, but not the kind of tight that makes it obvious you were going for tight. Just tight enough that your ass gets a hug when you shift your weight the right way and someone might notice.

The mirror wasn’t disappointing, but he knew he’d need a second opinion. Gil wasn’t exactly a fashion icon, but he knew a good-looking guy when he saw one.

“Wow, Ryder. Who the hell are you trying to woo?” Gil spoke before Ryder could open his mouth as he walked into engineering. “Don’t answer that. It was rhetorical. The whole ship already knows.”

“Seriously?” Ryder scoffed, though Gil’s positive reaction was a good sign.

“Suvi caught on, made the mistake of telling Kallo… yikes.” Gil gave him a toothy frown. Scott figured it had been something like that.

“Are you coming to the party?” Ryder asked. A moment passed with no reply, and he added. “Jill’s not invited.”

Gil snorted, arms crossed, and sighed. “Yeah, I’m coming. And no worries, she won’t be there.”

Ryder smiled just a bit, and nodded. “See you there, then.” He said, and Gil nodded him off.

o-o-o

Scott was one of the last people to arrive at Vortex before Sara. He immediately started scanning the room for Avitus, but there were people everywhere— the place was almost too packed. It was hard to believe all these people were only the big names, most of them he didn’t recognize.

He weaved around groups of chatting people, trying to be subtle about looking around because if he did spot Avitus he didn’t want him to notice.

“Hey Scott!” He heard Peebee’s voice from across the room, and saw her blew hand in the air waving.

“Hey Peebee!” He waved back with equal enthusiasm.

“Where’s Sara?” Peebee shouted.

“She’s on her way!” Scott called back. He couldn’t really get to Peebee from here where he was without shoving through people who were standing way too close together. He’d migrate over there eventually, but for now he was keeping his eyes peeled for—

“Shit!” Mid-turn he ran right into someone, and spilled their drink on himself. Thank god the tank top was black—

“Ryder.” The voice was tragically familiar.

Scott looked up, and locked eyes with Avitus.

Avitus merely sighed, eyes flicking down to wear the drink had been spilled on Scott’s shirt. For a moment Scott wondered if they’d wander further, perhaps appreciate. But they didn’t. At all.

“Sorry about your shirt.” He sounded more awkward than sincere. “Maybe watch where you’re going next time?” He offered.

“No happy birthday?” Scott said, a little bit of bite in his voice.

“Happy birthday.” Avitus said, plainly. Then he sighed, and started to walk around him.

“Enjoy the party!” Scott shouted back at him, almost entirely sarcastically. Avitus raised his glass without looking back, and continued walking away.

Scott huffed harshly to himself. He’d found Avitus like he wanted, and now he was ready to go back to the tempest.

“Okay everyone.” A loud voice from Vortex’s entrance. It was Kesh. “She’s coming, so get ready. Just shout surprise, and no splashing her with anything.” Drack booed her from somewhere in the crowd.

Kesh stepped aside and joined the crowd, and a few moments later, Vetra was walking Sara through the door. The crowd roared a loud “Surprise!” mixed with whoops and cheering, many people raised their glasses.

Sara covered her face with both her hands, eyes wide as she looked around the room at everyone. Scattered shouts of “happy birthday” could be heard, and Scott had to smile at not only how happy she looked, but the way Vetra was looking at her being happy.

All of the sudden Sara hugged her, and Vetra took the surprise hug well, and dipped her for a kiss. The room clapped and cheered, and that’s when the music got louder.

Scott looked down awkwardly as the crowd of people with a single interest— Sara, dispersed into smaller groups of friends and colleagues. He stood there in the middle, looking around for a familiar face. Where had Peebee gone?

There was a dark, mostly uninhabited area toward the back of the room, behind the bar. He made a beeline for it. He’d at least be able to spot friendly faces from there. Or just not talk to anyone until someone brought him a cake.

He was halfway there when a voice stopped him. “Ryder.” When he turned, someone walking behind him bumped into him, nudging him forward a little too close to the owner of the voice.

Kandros caught him by the shoulder to keep him from falling forward, but his face had gotten close to his hair before Scott was able to step back again, and he could have sworn Kandros… inhaled?

“There’s a table for you and Sara.” He explained. “And a few others.”

“Oh.” Thank god. Scott was so incredibly far from in the mood to dance or mingle— though Vetra and Sara were already winding around each other in the middle of the room. Sitting and drinking sounded good.

Liam was waving as Kandros guided him toward the table he’d apparently specified. Liam was currently the only other person sitting at it, as most people were standing. It looked like it could seat 7 or 8.

Kandros and Scott both took seats there, and what appeared to be a waiter was at his side before his butt hit the chair. “Anything I can get you, pathfinder?” He asked.

“Something strong.” Scott answered, with a nod. “Safe for humans. Whisky if you have it?” He tried, and the waiter flashed a smile, scribbled something down, then turned his attention to Kandros and Liam. They both ordered drinks as well, and then he was off.

“So.” Liam started, leaning toward Scott. “Any luck.”

Scott’s eyes shifted toward him with no sign of good news in them.

“Shit.” Liam shrugged. “Guess that’s not celebratory whisky then?”

“If I’m lucky it’s courage rather than something to drown in.” Scott answered. “But, if you think about it this is sort of his party too. And yours.” Scott looked to Kandros.

“Some of the turians who were up for it are here. Most weren’t.” Kandros said with sincerity. “We’re all happy to have found so many and brought them home safe. Avitus seems to have taken it as enough of a victory to finally take a break.”

Scott was glad to hear it.

“If I were you I’d take the opportunity to spend time with him before he goes back to the search.” Liam cut in, and Scott gave him a meaningful scowl.

“We just want you to be happy.” Liam said. “Right Kandros?”

Kandros’s mandibles twitched, and he shrugged, and looked away. The drinks arrived before he could offer a real answer, but Scott had already gotten the “two pathfinders would do better not to fraternize” talk from him. Scott snatched up his glass as soon as it was set in front of him, and his eyes drifted away from his table mates. Chatting wasn’t going so well either.

Lo and behold, when they shifted, they glossed over but then black tracked and zeroed in on Avitus Rix. He was seated as well, at a smaller table across the room. He was visible behind groups and couples dancing, staring into his glass. Scott’s heart felt heavy, watching him sit there alone, and wondered what he was thinking. Maybe it was the sudden rush from the first hit of whisky, but he had a mind to get up, patch things between them, and rescue him from whatever thoughts he was drowning in. But just as he was about to stand, a group of turians crowded Avitus.

Scott settled back into his chair. They were probably thanking him for his efforts to find their pods. That was good, he deserved that, and better yet it gave him a distraction and someone to talk to.

Scott, on the other hand, was going to drink.

o-o-o-o

He was sure he hadn’t drank enough for his troubles to disappear, but Liam was actively trying to limit him and cut him off. He didn’t like the way his drink tasted anyway, though, so it was hard to care when Liam cleared his throat as he raised it to his lips. He knew he hadn’t had too much— but Liam seemed to think otherwise.

Kandros was still there, and now they’d been joined by Vetra and Sara, who were chatting at low volume with one-another, probably about mushy shit. Kandros had been sitting quietly for most of the past half-hour since they arrived, just eye-scanning the room, relaxing.

Time continued to pass with little of note. Scott didn’t know it, but Kandros had also been stealing concerned glances at him for the past few minutes. 

Finally, Kandros decided to speak up. “For a guy who’s supposed to be celebrating, you seem pretty out of it.”

Scott had his first and forefinger pressed against his temple, head leaned on his hand, eyes fixed on something across the room. Kandros attempted to follow his line of sight, but it was difficult to discern who or what it was directed at when the room was so populated. It took a while for Scott to answer, and Kandros was almost sure he wasn’t going to, until-

“Do you dance, Kandros?” Scott asked, looking to him with an unreadable expression and half-hooded eyes.

He didn’t answer right away, lifting his drink to his mouth thoughtfully “Of course I dance.” Kandros replied from behind it, and then took a sip. Scott’s head tilted just slightly, as if to consider.

“Are you asking me to dance?” Kandros’s voice was a little husky, and Scott liked that. But he didn’t want Kandros to get the wrong idea. It would just be dancing.

“You did tell me to try on your day off.” Scott said, smirking at him. “This is the closest thing you’re likely to get to one of those.”

“Don’t dance with him.” Liam called out from a few seats away, having overheard despite his conversation with Jaal. “He’s terrible at it.”

Scott shot him the deadliest sneer and Liam immediately pursed his lips, and looked the other way.

“Not this time.” Scott stood, holding out his hand to Kandros. “Come on.”

Kandros tilted his drink back against his mouth to finish it off, and accepted the hand offered to him as he stood.

Scott guided them to a space on the floor, and they stopped and faced each other.

“Please tell me you’re not just doing this to make Avitus see it.” Kandros inferred, noting that he’d chosen a spot visible from where Avitus was sitting. Moreover, Avitus was quite pointedly not looking at them.

“Not really.”

“Not really.” Kandros mocked, and snorted. “Okay, one dance.”

Scott started to move, casually at first, and Kandros noted that there was something a little goofy about it. Scott was smirking at him like it was a joke, and Kandros rolled his eyes. This wasn’t really his idea of fun, or of dancing. Scott seemed to catch onto that fast.

He moved closer, close enough to mix body heat, and Kandros’s hands rose to his waist like magnets. Scott placed his hands on Kandros’s torso as well, and rolled his hips forward and, tantalizingly in tune with the music. He grinned as Kandros’s darkening eyes drifted down to watch them wind.

Across the room, Liam nearly spat up his drink. He didn’t know Scott Ryder knew he had hips.

Scott spun around so his back was to Kandros, hands on his wrists to guide them back on his waist. Kandros didn’t know whether to be critical or intrigued, but the latter was quickly taking over as Scott reached an arm back to place it behind Kandros’s neck, and pressed his body back against him. He bent his head back, exposing his neck and Kandros took that as an opportunity to bury his face in it, drag his mouth against the tattoo, and inhaled deeply. One of his hands made it’s way down to the hem of Scott’s pants, mind fixated on the fact that Ryder smelled like booze and something uniquely his own. It was intoxicating.

Scott bucked his hips up into the hand, which squeezed his hip and came with a sigh and a nuzzle against his ear.

Kandros’s eyes scanned the rest of the floor. The other dancing patrons were being fairly tame, despite that the song’s theme called for something a little sexy. Still, it made them stand out quite a bit. “You’re pushing the envelope with the dirty dancing here.” He whispered. Scott could feel his mouth moving against his ear.

“It’s my birthday.” Scott said, eyes still shut, rubbing harder back against him. “And you’re the one who almost has his hand down my pants.”

Kandros growled under his breath, stuck the very tip of one finger behind the hem because he wasn’t going to deny it, and then dragged the hand upward, pulling some of Scott’s shirt with it. Scott’s eyes flicked down to his exposed midriff and the way Kandros greedily ran his hands over it.

Scott couldn’t help letting his eyes drift across the room to where Avitus was, and sure enough, locked eyes with him.

Avitus didn’t look away. He certainly didn’t look impressed, more like irritated or pissed off. But at least he was looking.

Scott rolled his hips forward, almost at Avitus, and threw his head back as he prodded Kandros’s hands further up his shirt. Kandros was one hell of a trooper, and dragged his hands slowly across all of the exposed skin he’d been allowed. A grin stretched across Scott’s face as his head found its place on Kandros’s shoulder as those hands roamed him. For just a few moments, he let himself pretend they belonged to someone else. 

Then, as if internally cutting his fantasy off, the music ended, and changed, and he opened his eyes. He turned his head to the side. Kandros was looking straight back at him.

They paused, and Scott’s eyes flicked down to his mouth.

“Hey there.” Kandros said, their bodies having stopped moving, but still close together. “That wasn’t bad.” He breathed. “I think Liam owes you an apology.”

Scott snorted, and looked away, shaking off the thought of kissing him or venturing further. This wasn’t the turian he wanted to kiss.

“Avitus left.” Kandros informed, and Scott immediately stood alert, disconnecting from him and looking at the table where he’d been. His eyes darted to the door just in time to see it close behind someone leaving.

“Shit.” He said, and Kandros released him as he pulled away.

“If your goal wasn’t to antagonize him and make him uncomfortable, which I don’t think he deserves… you should probably apologize.” Kandros was suddenly a diplomat and full of criticism. Scott had to snort at the sudden change— ten seconds ago he’d been high on a regular dance floor drug.

Scott heaved a sigh. He wanted to lie and say he just wanted to dance but there was a reason he picked a turian with a white face and not Gil or half the other men in the room that night.

Decidedly, he launched himself off one of his feet and hurried for the exit. He was lucky he knew where Avitus’s apartment was— hopefully that was where he was headed.

Scott wished he’d been in his sweat pants and tennis shoes as he ran. These tight jeans especially weren’t doing him any favors— at least not anymore. He rushed out of Vortex and ran across the docking bay, through hydroponics and to where Avitus had found an apartment. It was Peebee’s old apartment, and a while back Peebee had just happened to mention that Avitus had begun renting it out once she left.

Scott caught up to Avitus just as he was about to enter.

“Avitus!” He called out, and stopped a few feet behind him.

“Ryder.” Avitus looked back over his shoulder. He looked tired, and fairly unhappy, and Scott knew nothing he was doing was helping.

Scott opened his mouth, then closed it.

“I’m sorry about that. Back there.” He said, gesturing awkwardly behind himself. “That was stupid, and not fair.”

He heard Avitus sigh and watched him shake his head. “There’s nothing to be sorry for.”

Scott ignored him. “No, there is. I’m sorry about Havarl. Sorry I didn’t make Natanus a priority.” He went on. “Sorry I said you were being childish. I know things aren’t easy for you.” Scott went on. “I didn’t mean to… be childish back.” He scratched his neck. “But I guess it’s-.”

“Scott.” Avitus interrupted. “It’s okay. I just needed to get out of there.”

“Please invite me in.” Scott said. It might’ve taken Avitus by surprise a week ago, but this was Scott and Avitus knew him now. He never hesitated to ask for what he wanted.

“Come in.” Avitus said, and walked past the doorway leading into his apartment. Scott’s eyes widened, too surprised at the easy answer to immediately move forward, but when he did, practically ran.

“How much did you have to drink?” Avitus asked.

Scott thought back to the events of that night, and remembered… quite a few shots. He didn’t feel horribly off, but he knew he was few cliques from sober. “…some.” He answered, vague as he could.

“Here’s some water.” Avitus tossed him a bottle, and Scott caught it easily. That probably meant he wasn’t shitfaced, at least. “I have a few human friends that drop by, so I have a coffee maker. Have a seat and I’ll bring you some.”

Obliged, Scott obeyed. Avitus’s home was humble. Small couch, a lounge chair, coffee table, small flat screen television. Typical, with minimal personalization. He looked around, noting that there weren’t many pictures or decorations on the walls.

But on a small table next to him, there was a picture of Avitus with another turian. Shorter, smiling a little bigger than Avitus was, standing close to him with an arm around his shoulders. Macen looked proud, photogenic, and Avitus looked a little awkward and nervous, but far from unhappy. Maybe it was the alcohol talking to allow him to feel so much emotion from one picture, but he was sure he’d never seen Avitus look so content and free.

“That’s Macen.” Avitus said. “I don’t know if you’ve ever seen a picture of him. But that was our brave turian pathfinder.” He sighed as he sat, placing a cup of coffee in Scott’s welcoming hands.

“I haven’t.” Scott said, and continued looking at the photo. “He’s shorter than you.”

Avitus laughed at the observation, and Scott felt silly for that being the first comment out of his mouth. But he liked it when Avitus laughed.

“He was.” Avitus nodded. The room fell silent for a few moments.

Moments passed, before Scott turned to him. “I think he’d be proud of everything you’ve done as pathfinder. I don’t know how much it means coming from me, but I am.”

The corner of Avitus’s mouth cracked a small grin. “Are you joking? You’re the prestigious pathfinder, the one that made all this possible. You saved me, the other arks…” He went on. “It means the world coming from you.”

Scott swallowed a lump in his throat, having not expected a reply like that. Sure, he got compliments and thanks and people of all species going on and on about what he’d done for them. But it meant a lot more this time.

Scott let his eyes drift over the side of Avitus’s face, the rough spots, creases, corners, curves. He spent a lot of time looking at that face, but it always felt new, and never got old. His heart beat faster, fingers that wanted to touch him tingling at his sides. He didn’t know when he’d fallen so hard.

“Thanks for saying it though.” Avitus spoke, seemingly unaware of Scott’s eyes roaming his face. “Sometimes I think about that too— I wonder if he’d be surprised I took the job or if he’d just say he knew I would. I wonder if I’m doing it as well as he would have.”

Scott sucked in a breath. “Sorry… for what I said, on Havarl. I don’t know why I said that.”

“I…” Avitus sighed, cutting himself off. “You’re good at apologizing.” He rubbed his neck awkwardly.

Scott smirked. “Looks like you’re not.”

“Ah…” Avitus felt like he’d been caught. “I was just angry. I sent another team to Natanus and they found out the pods were released as their arrays lost power, and one of the logs said they were jettisoned only two days before we arrived. At least a few dozen we could have saved if we’d just gotten there sooner… I didn’t know what to blame.” He said. “I shouldn’t have blamed you.”

“That’s awful news.” Scott said, feeling something churning in his gut. Probably guilt.

“It’s over now, though. We just have to find them. It doesn’t change anything and you were right that I shouldn’t been acting that way on a mission.” Avitus looked at his hand, and flexed his fingers. “Guess I’m still not used to working with other people.”

“Macen told me not to let my temper get the better of me before he…” He trailed off. Moments of silenced passed in which Scott wondered if Avitus would continue, before—

“You should get some sleep.” Avitus said, standing rather suddenly, and looking stiff.

Scott’s eyes followed him up, wide and uncertain of what to say. He was visibly bothered and Scott didn’t want to leave him alone.

“I’m not tired. You just brought me coffee.” Scott said, picking it up and raising it toward him.

“Scott…” Avitus’s voice broke. “Shit.” He looked down, eyes fixed on a specific part on the floor as he tried to gather himself.

Scott waited a few moments, took a sip of the coffee— it wasn’t quite the way he liked it but he wasn’t picky. “When I lost my mom, I had Sara. We had each other.” Scott said. “When I lost my dad, Cora was there. It was a loss for her too. But Liam, Drack, and Vetra… they all made it sure I knew I could talk about it if I had to.”

Avitus stayed silent.

“I know it’s been months but…” Scott heaved a sigh. “…Have you been able to talk about it?”

“I’m not a big talker,” Avitus replied, weakly, sounding like he might fall apart any minute.

“You don’t have to talk about your feelings or anything,” Scott said. “Just tell me about Macen.”

Avitus broke out into a short, sharp, but slightly pained laugh just after Scott said that. At least sixty seconds of silence passed between them before he started to speak, eyes fixed on his hands. “He was the best of us. Light-hearted about everything, always knew how to make you laugh, whether it was a clever joke or just because he was being ridiculous.”

“Romantic, and a dreamer,” Avitus went on. “Things I never was close to being. I was good at my job— at shooting things and coming back alive. That’s all I ever was.”

“Macen was that, and he cared about people, wanted the best for everyone. Especially me…” He trailed off. “Some part of me feels like I wasn’t even alive before…” this time an abrupt stop, and he seemed unable to continue.

His voice became quiet, almost a whisper. “I never built up the courage to ask him what he saw in me. I just hoped whatever it was, it didn’t change or go away.”

“We were so…” He stopped himself, hands curled into fists, and shook his head. His fists opened slowly, and Scott watched and listened tentatively. “I still can’t believe I lost him. I still don’t understand why I’m here and he’s not. I don’t know why I’m still trying even though…”

“Av.” Scott interrupted, because Avitus sounded a little like he was losing himself. His fingers hesitated, but the remaining alcohol helped him gather the courage to put a hand on Avitus’s shoulder. It tensed, but then relaxed under his touch. “You’re saving people. Building Andromeda… even without a reason-”

“No. You were right.” Avitus said. “He’s still my reason.” Avitus said. “I almost think I would have sacrificed all of them to have him back. But he’s not coming back.”

Scott didn’t know what to say. Then Avitus looked at him.

“I’m… still not really ready to move on.” He said. “I know there’s… something here, but. I…” He stopped.

“I’m here to be your friend no matter what, Av.” Scott interrupted. Avitus looked surprised for a moment, but then became significantly less tense. “Besides, we’d make a terrible couple. We’ve already pissed each other off four or five times, right?”

Avitus laughed. “Yeah.” He said. “You and me isn’t likely.”

“Impossible.” Scott agreed, taking a long sip of his coffee. He wasn’t being totally honest but didn’t feel like he was being insincere at that moment either. Just being there, next to him, and having gotten him to open up and maybe, hopefully feel a little better. That was enough.

“Did you sex-dance with Kandros to make me jealous?” Avitus asked, off-handedly breaking the short silence.

“Absolutely.” Scott confirmed behind his cup, and Avitus sputtered out in laughter.

o-o-o-o

“I bet everyone’s wondering where the birthday boy went.” Scott said, voice drawling.

“Back to bed, if I’m lucky.” Avitus said. He was tired himself— he hadn’t slept much between the last mission and heading back to the Nexus for this little party.

“Are you trying to get rid of me?” Scott squinted.

“No I’m just tired. And it’s late, so you can stay here if you want.”

“Ugh.” Scott groaned. “You know I’m attracted to you, right?”

Avitus laughed awkwardly, kind of like he did when they first met, and Scott’s heart beat a little faster at the sound. “So?” Avitus said, a little forced.

“Temptress.” Scott huffed accusingly, and then Avitus laughed loudly. Scott loved that he could make him laugh— maybe it wasn’t hard but he loved it.

“On that note, I’m going to sleep,” Avitus stood. “You can have the bed. I’ll figure something out here.” Avitus said, looking at the couch as if considering how to make it habitable. Scott shifted his weight on the couch. It wasn’t a very comfortable couch.

“I don’t want you to have to sleep here.” Scott said, not really considering the implication.

“Well out of respect for the tradition of human birthdays, I’m not letting you sleep here on yours.” Avitus argued. Mostly he just didn’t want to force a guest to sleep in discomfort. He’d never been great at guests but he could do that much.

“Just sleep in the bed with me.” Scott said, a little assertively.

Avitus’s eyes met his and he heaved a sigh, shaking his head. “My bed’s not even that big. It’s smaller than a queen.”

Scott didn’t break eye contact with him, only tilted his head slightly forward, like when a pet challenges you after you tell it it can’t have bacon.

“Are you even going to be able to sleep if I’m there?” Avitus continued to argue, despite the fact that Scott hadn’t said a word.

A little grin appeared on Scott’s face, like he’d reached some sort of victory. “What are you suggesting?”

“I’m not suggesting anything, you drunk ass.” Avitus shot it down, but quickly became torn. “Just… agh, fine.” He gave in.

“I’m cuddly.” Scott informed, and Avitus hated that smile.

“No. Cuddling.”

o-o-o

Scott obeyed the rule about cuddling because of course he did. The two of them stayed a good three inches apart in the bed, Avitus on his side, facing away, and Scott on his back, eyes shifting to him every once in a while.

Avitus was right. He couldn’t sleep.

_“You and me isn’t likely.” ... “Impossible.”_

It hadn’t bothered him then but now he regretted saying that. He definitely didn’t want to push but he and Avitus being impossible was so far from what he actually believed and maybe he was just starstruck or honeymooning but Scott was sure they could have been amazing.

And here they were, sleeping in the same bed and Scott wanted nothing more than to hold him. Or maybe be held? Maybe a bit of both. He wanted to know what the sheets smelled like after he slept in them. Wake up tangled up in him and kiss up and down his jaw until he woke up and Scott could look into his eyes.

He had it bad. He knew that.

He lay awake for a short time, wondering what Avitus was thinking, what he felt, how he couldn’t say it, at least not now, and that he was willing to wait however long it took—

—and then he was out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Behold! The sharing a bed trope and probably some sort of dirty dancing trope too. Hooray.
> 
> Thanks to everyone who left kudos and even those who just read! Thanks especially to those who commented-- I don't know how to reply sometimes, hell sometimes I'm just too flustered, but knowing someone is enjoying this enough to have a few words to say really keeps me going! It's so much more than I expected and I appreciate it so much!


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